Updates

Updates. Quite a lot has changed. I cant believe that my last post was a month ago. Gosh, things really seem different now. To the future is where Im heading. But first, a taste of the past to familiarise..

I must say, Hari Raya this year wasnt as vibrant as before. Perhaps due to the constant pestering of the ukhrawi teachers to constantly revise, the mood sunk. However, I did try to make the best of situations with my family members. A deeper bond began to carve its way into my life. Finally, a small taste of harmony between my own kinship.

As the days to STE drew closer, I still found everyone complacent, including myself. Preparations were made but majority didnt find the need to worry. During the exam itself, the atmosphere was that which said "Gotta leave the room now!"
I remember before each paper, we would joke and laugh around in the exam hall. Some would exchange paragraphs from essays and others just zipped on their jackets and awaited their papers. 2 hours later, freedom!

STE was a great moment. Awesome free periods, gossip and games and also lots of memorising. I quite agree with my seniors. STE is pretty easy. But I'll see for myself when I get the results, due January.

But the most saddest moments always come last. Another batch of wonderful seniors leave Irsyad to walk their next paths in life. All the close friends I've made. All the memories. Shedding a tear or two. Alas, parting is a natural part of life. Next year, I'll leave too. And I know, on that very day, I'll cry my heart out..

As awaited by many students then, the holidays have arrived. A wish I want to take back. The complete emptiness of everyday is just killing me as it is every other student. Prepare for O Level's next year, says the teachers. Easier said than done. I astonished myself just touching my Physics book a few days ago. So note to self : Do prepare for O's^^
But it seems I go out even more than I should. Books should be my companion, should I hope for it. So without me trying, I have stressed myself, knowing that my inactive actions could cost me 2011. Oh bother..

This coming Monday is going to mark the end of schooling days. When I do get to school, I'll remember to give hugs to everyone. I terribly miss this family of mine. A family of people not of the same blood but of the same heart. A family brought up to love the Almighty. A family I havent seen for quite some time. After all, absence does make the heart grow fonder. *winks*

Mugging

The time passed, like leaves falling during autumn. A sign, a hint. Times are a changing. Sure enough, in a time span of about a month or so, mindsets have changed. Situations, heightened to a higher level. Priorities, made clear and sure.

I have good reason for the long silence. Perhaps it was luck or misfortune that struck me, but a few days short of the end of Ramadhan, my laptop got spoilt. The item of routines, the object of magnetism for my own entertainment and time consumption.. gone. Suddenly, the days seemed to stretch longer. It was, for me, a space for revisions.

With an eased heart, I can safely say that the ordeal that was STE was quite an adventure. The moments before and after the papers, and during it as well, were to be remembered. The last day was a day to remember. Bursts of happiness and huge smiles were pasted on everyone's faces, that is my fellow S4's. Sweet moments..

A week comes and goes and here I am. The final hurdle of the year. End-of-Year exams. True enough, Im not too keen to sit for the papers. But then again, what could I pit my studies with if not exams? Though I have to say, my numerical skills arent that sharp. However, after attending Mr Rahamat's extra classes, I must say. I am starting to love Maths again. And my views on the teacher himself is getting better. Alhamdulillah.

The problem at hand is in the field of science. As hard as I try, I cant seem to grasp the applications of Physics and Chemistry. What with Mdm Surianah absent, tending to her newborn (Alhamdulillah, what a blessing!) and Mr Muneer, even with his clearest explanations, I am still very much confused. I am straggling.. and I pray that Allah s.w.t. help me. Ameen..

Enough said. I will write another entry in the near future, filling in all previous info. S5 graduations, Hari Raya celebrations, "normal school hours" and the such. Now, I am sorry to say, is not appropriate nor the right time to write it all..

Catching Up

Excused from class. And isnt that just sweet to hear once in a while? Indeed, I had quite a time taking pictures of the remaining teachers. Just imagine going up and down, up and down, searching for the last few. Gosh, it was certainly time-consuming. But hey, with Muhammad and Luqman Nur with me, it wasnt so bad at all..

To tell you the truth, there was nothing much to do anyway. In the MPR3, everyone did last-minute checking with Ustzh Rabia and Ustd Mahzan for their Prelim papers. Besides that, all the S4's had a council. We were all planning for our future performance during the Hari Raya Celebrations at Irsyad. I got a spot for being Danish's brother.. Hehe, awesome^^

Back to the photo-taking. The 3 of us had a nice time strolling from the office, to inside the teacher's room and even the 8th storey. It was like we were given a VIP pass or something. Anyway, I particularly enjoyed being in the teacher's room. They were passing each other cakes and pastries for Raya. I could feel the ukhuwwah between them..

After school, the 3 of us sat at the canteen, copying the photos and videos to Luqman's memory card via Ustzh Suriyati's laptop. Late as we were, we made our way to the SL meeting. The moment we arrived, they were ending the meeting already. Avoiding many stares, we made our way to the void deck for the S4 and S5 briefing for Iftar. The 3 of us were just about to sit down when Mr Muneer gave his salam. Looking to his side, Mr Muneer shouted at the 3 of us. Main points only. That saved us time..

By this time, nearly 3/4 of the school was empty. Everyone was going home, wanting to rest. Seeing that Bukhari and Danish wanted to leave, I joined them too. However, as I got to the gate, I saw a familiar sight. It was Aziz. Without haste, I ran towards him, being the first to give him salam. So in the end, I stayed for 'Asr with Aziz and also Ruzaini. After prayers, Aziz and I took Bus No. 88

So I suppose that's where the story ends? Not one bit. At first, I walked him to the traffic light, then to his house block. Then suddenly, I had the urge to talk. Aziz himself had nothing to do so we sat on a bench, talking till about 6pm. We caught up on stories and stuff. Both of us talked about our links in friendship, how we met all our friends. It was nice^^

I broke my fast with my parents and my aunt. Afterwards, I did my terawih alone since Im afraid my incessant coughing will cause distractions to other people. Anyway, its not so bad. Tomorrow, on the other hand, is going to be way better. Iftar Jamaii' with the Irsyad family! That'll be great.. Until then^^

Falling Sick

Falling sick. A common ordeal in everyone's life. Sometimes it's merely a slight cold. Other times, it may even be life-threatening like strokes or cancer. Whatever the case, it's not unusual to anyone. However, common it may be, it still affects everyone in a sort of negative way..

So you can imagine just how terrible it is getting a fever just a day before my oral examinations. Not taking any chances, my parents took me to the doctor. Unfortunately, lots of other people were sick too so I had to wait. It was hell..

After taking some medication and getting as much sleep as possible, I woke up, feeling worse than before. My throat was even more sore and my nose ever more blocked. I was dreading the arabic oral. I barely had time to prepare since I needed the rest. Blocking all the bad thoughts, I left the house, unprepared and unsure of the day's happenings..

At school, all the S4's waited in the Auditorium. That was where the intensity level really reached its peak for me. I was fidgeting, sweating, sneezing, coughing. Truth be told, I shouldn't even have been there. Soon, my turn came and I confronted two female teachers. I had to read a confusing text and answer tricky questions for the conversation..

One thing that bothered me. Both of them gave me a quizzical look. Including their stares and such, my self-esteem broke then and there. As I left the class, I literally slapped myself on the head. Not only was I suffering, I had to go through the day like normal..

The next day, which is today, my hopes were lifted. Today, I had to sit for my Quran oral. Feeling more confident this time, I vowed to show yesterday's teachers what I was made of. My friends wished me luck and Bukhari even gave me a small hug. And just before going to the exam room, Shazaa went up the staircase, wishing me good luck too. I was pumped for the oral^^

However, as I got inside the class, there were two different teachers. This time, both of them were male. Feeling slightly more comfortable, I answered all the questions they asked me. I only made one mistake, and that was quite scary. Nevertheless, I was quite pleased with myself when it was all over. For the whole day, it seemed as if STE had ended. Wow, that would be nice..

So all in all, besides the fact that I am STILL sick, I can say that these past two days have been quite good. Tomorrow is a holiday, due to 'Teacher's Day' and on Friday, there's going to be an Iftar Jamaii' at Irsyad. And need I remind that this is the start of the last 10 days of Ramadhan so ibadah and good deeds are loved indeed :D

Sparing Time

Already panicking, I left the house quite later than usual. To add to that, the bus came very much later. Being an early bird-kinda person, I kept feeling uneasy, checking my watch a number of times. As I arrived to school, I quickly made my way to the assembly court and placed my bag with my classmates..

At the gate, Farid and Hamzah accompanied me. At least for now, I thought things would be okay. The closing time came and Farid reminded me to stand near the gate. Then, he told me to close at his command. Trusting his usual ethics, I did so..

Not far from the gate, a huge mass of students were walking. Out of nowhere, he sternly asked for the gate to be closed. At first, I was like.. "whaaaaat?!"
The look on his face meant he wasnt in a good mood. Reluctantly, I closed in the faces of the students. The guilt inside overwhelmed me. Gosh, I was, quite frankly, a bit frustrated..

A few minutes later, I realised the pick ring was missing. Suddenly, all other thought withered away. I was so pissed at the situation, at how the day started. After accepting that it was gone, I met up with Bukhari to take the mic. When we arrived at the MPR3, I found Danish with the ring. Pheeeewwww^^

The rest of the day seemed to pass by smoothly. Groupworks and a short rehearsal was all it took to take up half of the school day. The other half, we listened to a motivational speech by Mr Isham. It was really inspiring^^

After the Friday prayers, I stayed back with a couple of the guys. Included are Ruzaini, Bukhari, Rifqi, Abdul Rahman Rahim, Syakirin and Danish. Right in the MPR3, we played soccer with a small ball for 2 hours! Gosh, it was a great de-stressing session.. Yeah, it really was^^

I spent Iftar with my parents and grandma. We ate together, prayed together and then, all the adults talked. As for me, well, I just sat down and listened. In due time, my STE orals are arriving. Specifically, in 3 days. So for now, blogging will be lessened even further. Im not really on hiatus, but Im not gonna be as active as the start of the year^^

Emptiness

More or less, a certain emptiness can be felt. For the past week, things have been rather bland without the usual spice of life. Perhaps such a thing is untimely but then again, I have other things to think about..

Today can be compared to as a sprint on a 10km track. Since Muhammad was absent for the day, I took his seat and played with Ilyas and Taufiq. Amazingly, I was very hyper in the morning and so I practiced 'Wing Chun' with Ilyas. Heh, he stood up with my constant "childish-ness".. And hey, Taufiq bought me a movie out of the blue. That was so nice of him^^

During Hifz, Adilah and I decided to take photos. Since it was our task, we also invited Luqman Nur and AishahTul to come along. We stopped at every level, snapping pictures of teachers and students along the way. I found a pattern. Newer teachers are more prone to being shy to the camera.

One class to remember was S5C. Besides the fact that it was sweltering hot, all the girls in the class were either laughing or making fun of us. The word "cute" still echoes in my mind even till now. Plus, I heard that distinctive nickname.. "Ga . . . "^^ Heh, nevermind.

After Zuhr prayers, the 4 of us hung out at the 8th storey, planning which teachers to find. Within an hour, I became quite accustomed to AishahTul. She seemed so cute and "little sister-like" that I felt compelled to pay attention to her whim.

Being weak and tired, I wasnt too keen on going home just yet. Thankfully, it rained so right after 'Asr prayers, Bukhari, Abdul Rahman Rahim, Luqman Hakim, Ali, along with Mr Izzad and I stayed back at school to wait out the rain. Luqman and Ali left around 5:30pm.. As for me and Bukhari, we left about an hour later. Abdul Rahman and Mr Izzad stayed behind to break their fast at school..

Back home, I didnt do what I had planned to do. No, I didnt read the Quran. No, I didnt do my essay. No, I didnt memorise another essay. No, I didnt revise old notes. Oh well, to err is human. To forgive, is divine.

Short Break

Quick recap about everything since the last entry. Well, to start things off.. Prelims are over. The whole thing was done within a week. To me, it was merely by forcing myself to study that I got to finish all the papers.

We didnt have a 'marking day' holiday. Instead, all the secondary 4's had to drag their way to school, doing nothing but waste away their days. Even for me, I didnt find it all that pleasing.
Anyway, the YOG games have started and its no surprise that people from every country are coming here to Singapore. Im okaay with it^^

Todaaaaaay, Mama and I went to Geylang with my favourite cousins! I had a freakin good time with them, darting in and out of shops. But then again, they all loved to poke me which was quite annoying. Nonetheless, it was one of the best outings ever^^

STE season is just around the corner. If Im not wrong, the written papers are less than 40 days away. That gives me ample time to revise and such. O Levels arent that far either so to my S5's, good luck ;D

Hmm.. I have quite a number of things to do. Make cards, clean up my room, revisions, memorise old notes, and a whole assortment of other errands. By the way, I got AVA and Head Cameraman posts for the SL sub-committee.. and gosh, Im thrilled^^
Better get going then~

Halfway

Well, its Prelim season. Its halfway over and somehow, Im glad and disappointed at the same time. I dont know. I kinda wish I had a bit more time. But what little time I had left, I just concentrated on essay questions. Typical..

Thinking back about the first day. Gosh, everyone seemed slightly tired and somehow panicking. Keeping my cool, I just kept on reading on whatever notes I had. I sat for Insya' and Tauhid at that time and hey, it wasnt as bad as I thought it'd be.. On the next day, which is today, I had to sit for Nahu and Tafsir papers. I was a bit worried with my nahu and unfortunately, I left both my books at the school. Brilliant.

But hey! Shifa was there to aid me in my hour of need. Thank you very very much for staying up late just for me. Awww, I really appreciate it. Anyway, when the nahu paper was being done, I just carried on doing. Sadly, the weather was humid and I fidgetted a lot..
Then I had my Tafsir paper which was.. *speechless*
It wasnt very hard but I wasnt confident and was clueless on some parts. I'll just hope for the best..

Fiqh tomorrow. Hadith and Mustolah Hadith on Saturday. Here we go.. Oh and after that, finally some breathing space. Seriously, I gotta catch-up on my maths and science. They're terrible enough without having this STE standdown to make it worse.. Complete black-out

Last but not least. Good luck to all students sitting for any major exam or a prelim for some major exam. Ramadhan mubarak to all. What else? Thats about it.. Happy fasting :D

Closing In

Time is like a wild stallion, galloping free in the fields, enjoying its freedom. For the people chasing it, it's hard work keeping up with the strong animal. That is, for me, how the current situation is..

Not long ago, my school celebrated Racial Harmony and Singapo're 45th National Day. The performances during said events were incomparable and beyond expectation. I couldnt believe it.. but I was enjoying myself! To add to the fun, the Inter-Madrasah Finals were held too! Needless to say, these were one of the most exciting moments of the year..

But with ups, there must also be a downside to it. In less than 48 hours, the Sec 4's including myself, will be sitting for our Prelims for STE. So will the Sec 5's and Pri 6 students. All the prelims of the major exams are being sat for, starting this coming Wednesday. Stupendous..

I cant believe it but I dont think, and I am accepting this fact, that I am not ready for it. Unfortunately, my spirits have not been boosted. Today is a public holiday and I have quite a number of hours to stuff myself with everything I've been studying for the past few months. Greeeaaaat...

Last but not least, I just wish everyone a good time for the rest of the year. Have a good Ramadhan and use your time wisely. As for me, please make doa for me. Until next time..

Doin Good

Mama told me that if something you want doesnt happen now, then something better is bound to come in the future. Well, I guess thats a silver lining.. though not a shiny one, I guess. All this senseless crying and moodiness isnt good for me, especially with STE coming up. I have to recover from lost time and begin preparations. Yeah I know.. I prepared late.

I know that most of my previous predecessors will mock me for exaggerating STE's importance but then again, I do encompass my feelings with nearly everything I do. So yeeaahh.. Sentimental, very.

Word of the Irsyadian girl's victory has come to everyone's attention. I was quite confident in saying to Bukhari that the girls were really good, and about 3 hours later, my statement yielded bold results. 1st in overall.. Now that aint bad. Im gonna be truthful.. I wish I was there to take pictures. But oh well, I would've been tossed out even if I was there..

The main story now is.. how are the guys gonna fair? Here, they're up against older athletes who MIGHT have a certain edge. But I tell you, the Irsyadian guys are dreaming big. I know that we can do it.. I know.. Just in advance, I wanna wish the Irsyadian guys good luck. Bittaufiq wannajah!

But then when all the cheering is over and the screaming has died down, when the banners have been kept safely and the instruments neatly tucked in the stores, I'll be back in my room, contemplating what I could've done if I had played. Sigh.. I hate this down feeling. But then again, I like that I have this feeling. Shows that Im human in wanting something I've been waiting for until . . .

My cousins are coming over tomorrow. One of them is gonna be holding the Olympic torch for her school and Im so proud of her. I wonder if she's gonna recommend me as a runner too? Hahaha, I guess not.. Oh well

Want

Things have been hard these past few weeks. There's hardly been anything uplifitng, except for short moments. You know, it ceases to amaze me why I dont go crazy with all that Im keeping to myself.. Oh well, I wouldnt be surprised if it happens now..

The arabic oral for Prelim was quite disappointing. Sadly, I couldnt stop stuttering and bumbling over every word. Gosh, this is sooo not good. And truthfully speaking, I dont think Im ready for STE at all.. And this aint even O's yet.. Can you imagine?

When will this rollercoaster ride end cause I cant take it. Im bored. I feel terrible. I want end.
You know, I watched this arabic program about the Prophet (pbuh) and I was like.. feeling ashamed. Just imagine if he saw me, all a muck. Even Im sorry for myself..

So anyway, I have dikir barat rehearsals and a seminar at MUIS with my buddies. Hmm, I wanna rock-wall climb with Mr Hazrin again. I wanna go to the Gardens with Shazaa and the gang. I wanna spend a whole month at school, how's that?

Unplanned

The cool mists which would blanket the grass. The dew-covered leaves, magnifying its features. The serene peace and calm of the surroundings. These are some of the reasons I find early morning to be the best time of the day. Where everything is at the beginning..

How enraged I was to have overslept and woken a few hours later. It was frustrating. In fact, I did wake up in the morning, only to be lulled back to sleep. Gritting my teeth, I got out of bed and washed up, getting ready for the day ahead..

On the previous night, I had planned my day's activities.. Jogging, studying, uploading pictures and getting my hair cut. This was all set to change.. Papa called me, asking me to water the plants. It was back-breaking work, watering all 41 of them. Not to mention, carrying buckets of water again and again..

Since it was nearing noon, I guessed that it wasnt such a nice time to jog so I abandoned the idea. Instead, I turned on the computer and started uploading the pictures from the previous week. It didnt help when my computer started to lag inappropriately. In the end, I could only muster up the time and energy to publish 2 albums. Oh well..

Not to forget all the wonderful people who texted me today. It brightened me up, plastering a wide smile on my face. Indeed, things would've been better if they were around to encourage me to study. Fact of the matter is, I didnt even revise or study a single thing. I was quite disappointed.

However, the trouble of getting my hair cut is over for now. It took up half an hour of my day to walk to the barber, get a haircut and walk back home. All in all, I must admit that I wasted my day. But then again, what's done is done.

Accepting

Fact of the matter is, everything is moving. Time passes by and no one can do anything to change it. Biting this part of life was hard.. Swallowing the possibilty of continuing without things not going as I would like it to. Gosh, its terrible..

Maybe it was coincidence or maybe even destiny that I heard a song which opened my eyes to the general picture. Allah s.w.t. really shapes things beautifully.. How something seemingly heart-breaking can lead me back to Him. I know.. Im still holding some bit of anger within myself. Sigh.. its hard to let go..

As everything supposedly major edges closer, I cant help but feel nervous, perhaps even scared for myself. Everything is happening so quickly, as opposed to all those years ago when time seemed to stand still. Im at this point in life where I choose my crossroads and truthfully speaking, Im lost and I dont speak the local language.. Im on my own

So help me.

Miserable

Thunder rolled above, lightning crackled. Coupled together, they mimicked the worst of me. Waking up in the morning was bad enough without having to remember about the day's events. It was Saturday.. the IMG badminton games play-offs..

Naturally, I would've seemed pumped with excitement. Instead, a deep sense of loathing grew within me, knowing that I wouldnt be there to play but to take pictures. Sighing deeply, I got out of bed and got ready to leave..

In about a half hour's time, I was all packed. Even as I left the house, it drizzled on endlessly. The mood was set for bitterness. Checking the time, I knew I wouldnt reach Al-Arabiah in time. Gritting my teeth was all I could do as I waited for Bus No. 57 to arrive. As soon as it did, I boarded hastily, followed by 4 Wak Tanjong boys. Ignoring them, I just waited..

I reached the school just as the players were given a briefing. Then and there, my spirit seemed to crumble, knowing that I should have been amongst them.. and not looking on from one side.
Everyone made their way to the court and as soon as we arrived, the games started. I watched with great excitement and undying hatred. Deep down, I was fighting with myself to maintain composure..

Near the end of the last round, I willed myself not to be negative. I sought the enemy's weak areas and, as difficult as it was for me, I helped my friends win. It was great to see them win but really, I was dying inside..

I saw my friends smiling and laughing. I could see my teachers, with ecstatic expressions on their faces. And me, I was miserable.. News came to me that Irsyad's netballers won too. Good for them, I thought. The fire inside me died even more.. Everyone was happy with me out of the picture..

With the end of the games, all the Irsyadians went back to school to have lunch. The moment we reached school, I made my way to the mosque with the intention of being alone. After Zuhr, everyone was gone. And so, I made my home, alone.. with a slight drizzle, an eerie silence and a very, very sad feeling lingering around..

Saving Memories

So far, the Inter-Madrasah Games have been on everyone's minds. Even for me, its really stirring up the school spirit within. Yesterday, the Inter-Madrasah soccer games were held at Irsyad so its pretty much home turf for our team. However, I had duties in the morning so I hurriedly finished up the P1 resgistration thing..

It was blistering hot by 11am and naturally, I would've sought for shade. But hey, I guess taking pictures was more important so I hung on. By about 12pm, the clouds above covered most of the Sun and that was a great relief.. Oh, and Mr Izzad lent me his zoom lens and his other one. It was awesome, y'know..

All the soccer players were quite good. I gotta say, I was quite thrilled seeing different madrasah students at Irsyad. It was quite colourful and I got to know some people. But still, Irsyad had to fight off fierce competition. At the end of the day, the senior team managed 2nd place whilst the juniors got 3rd place. It was a satisfactory result for Irsyad but nevertheless, they all did good..

Insya Allah, I will be going to the Sepak Takraw games and of course, the senior badminton games. Last but not least, the usual.. athletics. In light of all the fun and games, I just remembered that my Prelims are just a few weeks away. Kinda makes me wanna skip it.. oh well, there're just some things I cant escape..

Today, I slept a lot (Dunno why..)

I remember sleeping in the bus, sleeping at home, sleeping and sleeping. Gosh, I dont feel like studying at all. Im still worked up with my messy room and slightly irked that I dont have an idea for Syu's story (Sorry..)

Tomorrow morning is the World Cup finals and I hope Netherland wins, though anything is possible. Fast forward a few hours ahead and its school.. Great.

Mood update.. depressed, cranky, tired, whatever..

Up A Notch

STE preparations are being taken up a notch.. and I dont like this. Minus the sweltering hot weather, the classes just seem to drag on and on and on. Believe me, I tried my best to stay up.. And so did my tablemates.. But its just soooooo 'bleargh!'

Hmm.. Well today, I finally read Aziz's birthday present to me which is the 'Percy Jackson : Demigod Files' book. Man, I was lost in my own world reading it. In fact, there were random moments when I'd laugh at something I read and Muhammad and Taufiq would look awkwardly at me. But hey, I enjoyed myself..

After school, Luqman and I stayed back to "study". I DID have the intention to do my maths work. In the end, I finished only a few questions (Rough working though..) and continued to play with Ruzaini's iPhone. Oooohh, and thanks Shaakira for the brownies. It was D-E-licious! Oh oh, and also.. get well soon, Bukhari and Helmi! And and.. Good luck to all S5's for their oral and also.. their O's. Aaaaaand, good luck to all S4's! Start revising now cause there's little time left yo~

Reminders to self.. Revision. Ten Year Series (Booooooo!). Drink lotsa water to stay up in class. Revision. Practise maths and science (BOOOOOOOO!). Prioritise on ONLY important things.. ok wait, no.. MOSTLY

So there.. some reminders. Oh darn, I still owe Syu your little fairytale!!! >___<
Dont worry.. I promise to write it by this Sunday, aites? Take care then..

A Game of "Bball"

Being spontaneous is fun. In fact, today seemed to be a a gloomy day cause I already felt terrible the moment I woke up. But then, that's where having friends living close to you help easen the situation.

Calling up Aziz, Luqman Nur ans Haziq, we agreed to met up at the usual court behind Aziz's house to play basketball. I was fired up, knowing that at least I wouldnt be rotting at home, alone. I told Mama I was leaving the house and also grabbed my maths textbook, for studying purposes.

I stumbled upon Luqman Nur at Cheers. Together, we met Aziz at the court. Haziq was supposedly late so we started playing. Perhaps it wasnt such a good idea cause it was mid-day when we played. Nevertheless, we continued playing. We practised our shots and stuff like that..
Haziq arrived with Istighfar tagging along. They were going for LAN Gaming later on so he brought a friend along. We decided to have a match, 3 on 2. I opted to leave Luqman Nur and Aziz in one group and the rest in the other cause they were good.

However, we decided using 'Osom' technique. I got paired with Haziq. Our opponents were Luqman Nur, Aziz and Istighfar. It seemed that the odds were stacked against us. Luqman was a skilled player. Aziz was an awesome 3-pointer scorer and Istighfar was quick and huge. But hey, we didnt care.
Somehow or rather, we were balanced in a way. Aziz's team dominated in numbers and brute force but me and Haziq were quick. I noticed that Haziq is getting better in basketball.. Kudos, brother!

Anyway, I couldnt believe myself, running rings around the opponent in the blazing sun. Unbelievably, the score was (6-4) to Aziz and the guys. Haziq and I werent so bad. After a short rest, we continued the game.
I gave it my all, zig-zagging around Luqman and Istighfar, then passing it to Haziq who seemed to be determined to win as well. In the end, the score was (9-9) ... game point. First to (10) would win.

So anyway, I was in the box with the ball. I slipped past Aziz. Istighfar was running to my right side, Luqman was running in front of me and Aziz was closing up my back exit. I couldnt escape and suddenly, Istighfar caught my foot and I mis-stepped on the ground, hurting my ankle. The game was paused..

Since it was clear that everyone was tired, we opted for a shoot-out. And you know what? I scored the winning point! Wooooooo! Haziq and I celebrated like we'd won the World Cup! Hahaha, the family name of 'Abdullah' is upholded!

All of us bought Bubble Tea, bade goodbye to Haziq and Istighfar after that. Luqman Nur and I went back to Aziz's house. We rested and took out our assesment books and stuff, intending to study. However, we got distracted. Instead, we played with Aziz's iPad and watched 'The Simpsons'. Ended up finishing some questions only.. Thanks to Aziz's Mum for the pizza. It was real nice of you :)

When we wanted to go home, Luqman Nur found out that his shoes were stolen. Sad, huh? So he borrowed Aziz's slippers. Who ever stole my friend's shoes, I hope you get whats coming to you..
So thats it then.. and tomorrow, my first day in school with long sleeves -____-

New Roles

Recap:

I had qiyam yesterday at school with the S1's and S4's. As per normal, we had dinner, followed by Maghrib prayers and munajat session. The usual.

We skipped revision time cause all the munajat-ing took up most of the evening.. But I enjoyed the hugging moments. Ustd Mustaqim and Ustd Salehin really said some nice things to me. Im glad.. We got on to preparing our sleeping areas and stuff like that..

Moments later, nearly every guy in the MPR3 left to watch the match between Holland vs. Brazil. I joined for a while and smiled ecstaticly when I found out Holland won.. Papa will be happy!

Everyone returned to their places and slept. We woke up at about 4:50am and got ready. Performed Tahajjud and then we did our Subuh at the mosque. Debriefing and done.. Mukhayyam was over.

Got ready for the Haflah and all. Lemme tell you, I wasnt quite used to tucking in.. But anyway, I took out my camera and started capturing "moments". However, I had to safekeep my camera backstage during the SL Investiture.. Wish I coulda taken the pictures T_T

Afterwards, I got into the Auditorium and took more pictures. Then it got to the prize-giving ceremony. Mr Izzad passed me his huge 7D and I was supposed to take the pictures upfront. It was . . . nerve-wrecking. I HAD to get the pictures correct.. Hope it turns out ok

Took more pictures and soon, the haflah ended. Then, some of the guys returned to the Audi and the tech guy turned on Okto, big screen! We watched 'Spongebob Squarepants'. Hahaha, it was fun! Oh, and I also helped clean up the void deck.

I stayed back for Zuhr and whilst waiting for the azan, I fell asleep in the prayer hall. Luckily, Helmi woke me up just as prayers started. It was obvious that I was tired so I went home.. My cousin came and without knowing, I fell asleep again. Woke up at night..

Drag

Literally speaking, I think Im suffering in class.. Yes, I think I am. Nahu revisions with the class was a major "could-have-broken-down" moment. Surprisingly, Ilyas mustve sapped all my energy cause he was sooooo hyper! Hahaha, it was weird seeing him that way..

Besides that, the whole day dragged. I dont know how Im ever going to get my mojo in time for the upcoming exams. Gosh, I dont have anything to look forward to..

Lets see.. I have my Prelims in about a month. STE in around 2 months. O Level preps during December. More O Level preps and revisions next year and then, the exam itself. Oh, and nearly all my dear friends are either busy or occupied, as I should be. Darn..

Back to today.. Well, I stayed back till Maghrib cause I had a nice conversation with him during the afternoon. Afterwards, Mr Izzad and I, along with Farid, Helmi and Bukhari had dinner at school. The canteen owner had extra food so they graciously offered it to us.. It was quite fun with the nice company and the serene atmosphere..

On the way home, we talked about our "love lives" and somehow or rather, I always get blamed as the bad guy. Hahaha, its soooo unfair. Thats what I call not keeping up with time.. Anyway, I guess I better put that aside and concentrate on the matter at hand. Time is precious and I dont wanna waste anymore than I have..

Stand-down

After much waiting, the academic stand-down has finally started. Just today, word was told of our upcoming timetables and such, including our preparations for STE. For me, Im quite.. how dyou say.. not really supportive of the programme. I do appreciate the total halt of our academic lessons but unfortunately, the teachers found some way to section our batch into groups and make everything less.. easy.

I dont really wanna start off in such a negative way. Much time has been spent on other things and I know, deep down, that the time for any neccessary revisions is now. But then again.. They just make it so complicated. Thanks very much..

Oh well.. Just today, Ustd Salehin showed my class a slideshow about achieving high. In general, it was all about being positive and having the right mentality. Yeah sure, I kinda agree with him. One quote really held me.. "Mental obsession manifests into physical achievements"

Okaaay.. now that all this drama is over. Its time to get working.. Prelims are starting in a month from now, by my count. And STE? Well.. lets just see how Prelims turn out before thinking about that.. One thing I can say is that.. I CAN DO THIS!

Changes

It seems a lot of close friends are moving up in this world, huh? Well, if you havent heard, Ilyas, Danish and Helmi were picked to join the new SL exco members. Aint that sweet? Hope they make the best of what they've got..

The start of the term didnt make much of an impact. In fact, I had mixed feelings. Im in conflict with myself and the people and things around me. Gosh, wish this anxiety would just disappear. For now, I .. am being .. quite passive.

All the future hurdles seem so close and well, I gotta make sure I strive for the best.. Perhaps one day, my paradise will materialise.. Insya Allah

Cleaning Up

Mama told me.. "If you wanna do good, start from the source". I guess this has many meanings but err.. I'll just tell you my part of it.

Well today, I finally started to clean my room. Believe me, I get very touchy when it comes to throwing away my own belongings. In fact, it took me a whole day to just fill 2 bags with garbage. I still think my room is full of rubbish though..

I dont know why but Im rather lazy when it comes to cleaning up my room. In class, no sweat. But my room has always been my weak area. So from now on, I hope to clean up as much of my room as I can.. where there's time, of course.

At night, I saw a beautiful moon. It had an eerie glow.. which was so romantic. But anyway, the night was filled with laughter. My parents and I watched 'Mr Bean's Holiday'. It was hilarious.. Makes me think whether I should go somewhere.. Oh well

Oh, and welcome back, Shazaa!

Under the Sun

I've been looking at most of the Irsyadian bloggers and one of them caught my attention. I particularly liked Husnina's blog, with good reason. Her entries were filled with reminders and lessons of Allah. From her blog, I learned many things and I hope that one day, I might catch people's eyes with my entries..

Well anyway, for the past 2 days, I have been out under the sun playing sports. On Thursday, the crew and I performed our Friday prayers at Muhajirin Mosque, where afterwards, we went to McDonalds for lunch. I couldnt stop staring at them, eating away all their food. Weird, huh?

We parted ways with Luqman Hakim after lunch. Together with Aziz, Luqman Nur and Haziq, we went to the basketball court at Braddell. Met with our Alumni.. Luqman, Irshad and Shaheed. We had a spectacular game. Sorry to the people living in the area.. I get quite competitive during basketball matches..

After the game, we bade goodbye to Haziq and went back to Muhajirin. There, we did our 'Asr prayers and then sat in front of the mosque, talking. It was quite fun and all. At home, I watched Michael Jackson's 'This Is It' on HBO and later, his concert on Channel 5. Gee, I do miss him.. And fast forward.. Its Saturday

Unfortunately, I woke up late today and so I arrived late to school. I was supposed to help take pictures for the Harmony Games at Irsyad but when I arrived, the whole event was over. Hahaha! Oh well.. There was Bukhari, Ruzaini, Abdul Rahman Rahim, Rifqi, Helmi and some other S2 boys. We played a game of soccer and heeeyyy, I scored a lot! Ruzaini nicknamed me 'old-timer'..

Afterwards, I went home and met my cousins. Again, I went out to the street soccer court and played soccer with them. What a great way to spend the weekends. And tomorrow.. I think Im going to clean out the room. Insya Allah..

P.S. I still owe you a story, Ms Caramel ;D

History Lessons

After returning back from today's excursion, somehow.. I feel more proud of myself. Cause you see, today, we went to Bukit Chandu. There, we explored a museum about World War 2, the Japanese occupation and the Malay Regiment led by the famous Lieutenant Adnan.

It was brilliant! Everyone watched a short film about the attack on Singapore. Boy, it mustve been scary. It made me realise how lucky I am right now. Further on, we saw more exhibits, biodatas, diary records and more. It was quite interesting~

Then, we moved to another area and rested. We did some groupwork, writing down what we saw at the museum.. followed by picture-taking. Hehe, it was awesoooooome! We all posed around a tank sculpture but some of the guys, including me, climbed on top. It was amazing!

Went back home and err.. Well, I rested and then went home. I felt quite down on the way home, dunno why. Sigh.. I miss _______.
Fill in the blank with whatever you think Im missing. Heh, next week.. *gulp* school!!! O_O

A Journey to "Mac"

Im glad that I went to MacRitchie with Mr Izzad, Haziq and Abdul Rahman Rahim before.. Cause today, the walk seemed quite alright. Hahaha, considering we walked 3/2 of the journey the last time..

A few hours ago, me and my fellow schoolmates went to MacRitchie for an excursion, in light of our STE extra classes. I was quite pleased cause at least I knew the place. However, we got divided into groups. Each group had 1 guy and 4 girls in it. I was like.. O_o/T_T

But hey, my group members were nice. They consisted of Hannah, Adawiyah, Liyana and Syazreema. And oh, they all wore pink scarfs and PT shirts. So anyway, we walked to the treeop walkway. The journey was.. hahaha, quite noisy. The girls laughed a lot and as for me, I looked around for pictures to take. Lucky for me, lotsa animals came out and I got quite a lot^^

On the walkway, me and the guys rocked the walkway and it really moved from side to side. Hahaha, it was soooo hilarious! Then we went to Jelutong Tower, went up, took some pictures, went back down.. and walked all the way back to our arrival place. Just as we were about to reach the place, it started to rain heavily.. Gosh, I was scared for my camera..

Went back to school and hung out for a while. We took more photos and did our prayers afterwards. Went back home and uploaded the pictures on Facebook. Do look at them^^
On another note, my phone bill reached a $100.. with rebate. Man, Im glad the home phone just got fixed. So please.. to the people who call me, spare me a thought ^^

Thats about it, I guess.. Oh, and I bet Shazaa is in Bandung right now. I wonder what they drink there? Bandung??? xD

Breezy

Praise be to Allah indeed.. the cool weather today was soooooo amazing! Heh, its the kinda weather I would usually spend lazing around somewhere. Gosh, it was a lot less vibrant wihout Ilyas beside. Though this time, Muhammad filled the empty seat..

The lesson was quite draggy and many, if not some, yawned a lot. After school, together with Bukhari and Farid, we met Mr Izzad at the canteen. We had quite a long conversation.. Oh, and get this.. To be eligibile to at least be nominated for SL Exco, you need to be in service for a year. Talk about a slap in the face.. Oh well

Nearly halfway into the convo, I walked out and stood at the bridge, brooding. But anyway, I was also there to enjoy the breeze. Later on, we did our Zuhr prayers and then went back home.. And so, I spent the remaining day playing games and watching some dance videos..

Tomorrow, Im having an excursion to MacRitchie with my S4 batch. And on the day after tomorrow, we're going to Bukit Chandu.. wherever that is.
So sorry, Shazaa. Wish I could see you off but I have my obligations. Just have fun aite? Take care then ;D

Unbelievable

Heh, today was.. unbelievably unpredicated. Well, for starters, I arrived on school early, as ever. Sat at the mosque and then went for assembly. Classes, however, were.. aah.. quite hard to concentrate on. What with Ilyas and Umar moaning about being hungry, I couldnt help but get distracted along the way. Many times, in fact..

Aaahh.. But then again, I got to laugh again. Something which I havent done for quite a long time. But besides that, the lesson with Ustd Dzarif was alright. In fact, I quite liked him teaching. So when it came to the end of the school day, I was a bit unsure of what to do. Then, out of nowhere, Ruzaini and Abdul Rahman Rahim invited me to go watch a movie with the guys. Smiling graciously, I accepted their offer.

Together with Bukhari, Umar and Ali Imran, we all went to AMK Hub. The moment we reached Cathay, we saw loads and loads of people lining up to buy tickets. My jaw dropped.. momentarily. I was like.. are you sure we're gonna watch a movie???
Ignoring the hundreds of people there, we all lined, me being in front soas to talk to the ticket seller. We decided to watch 'Toy Story 3'! And lemme tell you.. it was awesome!!!

Even though the settings in the movie werent that outstanding, but the storyline was so well-written that we were all at the edge of our seats. Me in particular got so hooked on to the movie, I almost shouted during this one scene. Haha, it was a terrific show! Classic and off the hook!!

After the movie, we parted ways. Ali and Umar went back home while the rest of the guys went back to school. We did our Zuhr prayers and then laid back in class whilst waiting for soccer training. I wasnt part of the school team but I was just too tired to move. Bukhari slept in class and I thought of using the silence to revise but eventually, the cool breeze coming from outside lulled me to sleep..

Woke up and did my 'Asr prayers and met with the other soccer dudes. Then I went home, got my hair cut at the barber, watched 'Independance Day' and well.. now.. I am just waiting. Where are yoooooouuuuu? T_T

"Studying"

The closer it is to July, the more I fidget. I hate it when I just have to start studying forcibly. Okay, I think its good since I dont think I'll ever stop wasting time..

Well.. For the past 2 days, I've been watching a lot of movies. Lately, there have been a lot of good movies, either on HBO or Disney Channel or whatever other channel. Not to mention there's an Avatar Marathon on Nickelodeon. Heh, yeaahh.. I've done very little revisions..

On another note, for the past 2 days, I've been studying how to dance the Cha-cha-cha and the Salsa. Lucky there're tutorials on the net and gee.. I wish I could dance like the experts. As for me, I dont think I can do it well without a teacher but Im managing..

Reminder to self.. REVISIONS!!!

Reunion

Today was.. hehe, a good reunion. I met up with my good friends, Aziz, Haziq and the 2 Luqmans. It was a day to be remembered..

Like any other day during the holidays, I woke up quite late. Seeing that it was already 12pm, I got ready for Friday prayers. Fastforwards till after the Friday sermon and prayer, I met up with Luqman Nur, Luqman Hakim and Haziq at the void deck.

At that time, I didnt wanna leave just yet cause Mr Izzad wanted to skateboard there. And anyways, I had the intention of seeing some people. But oh well.. pitying Aziz, we gave salaam to Mr Izzad and went to Junction 8 to meet Aziz. There, we had something to eat and then moved out and headed for Good Speed Cyber Cafe.

All of us had planned to play 'Age of Empires 3' but some of the computers didnt have the game so Aziz switched. Luqman Nur and I didnt care for that so we both played 'Left 4 Dead 2'. Haha, I led Luqman Nur and my other game members and fought tons of zombies. It was awesome!

When time ended, Luqman Nur and I went to the others. Surprisingly, they added another hour to their turn so we had to wait for them. Man, AOE3 sure has some nice graphics. After we were done, we bade goodbye to Luqman Hakim and went to McDonalds. Talked for a while and then we went our separate ways. Aziz and I took Bus No. 88 whilst Haziq and Luqman Nur went another way.

I had a short conversation with Aziz, until it came time to say goodbye to him. I continued my journey back to Muhajirin Mosque and did my 'Asr prayers. On my way back to the bus stop, I saw the netball girls leaving.. Okaaaay, irrelevant. Went back home and played AOE2.

One upside though.. I got to revise some Tauhid topics during my outing with the guys. Awesome, huh? Well anyways, cant stop here. The revisions have got to continue..

Keeping Track

The more I think about it, the more I notice that there isnt a lot of time. Free time, I mean. In fact, in a few days, school is gonna start all over again. There's gonna be tons of work, followed by Prelims and STE and afterwards, End of Year Exams. Then, there's gonna be classes during December in preparation for O Levels. And then its gonna be studying throughout the year. Just great..

But then again, with these few moments left, I cant even summon the energy to even open a book. Gosh, Im feeling so depressed right now for soooooo many reasons. Im not eager to start school. Im not eager to do anything at all. I just wish I could turn back time to 2008.. when my good friends didnt have a major exam to sit for. Man.. Life is looking bleak, at the moment.

Furthermore, I just wanna say that I am . . . so miserable. Please oh please, I cant go on with life right now. My world is changing so rapidly I can barely keep pace. What I wanna do now is run away from everything and just keep on running. Sigh.. oh hey, my moodiness has returned. Welcome back..

Note to self. Remain conscious of my responsibilities. Work.. a lot. Exercise tawadhu amongst my friends and peers. Cherish the people around me. Work.. a lot more. Remember Allah s.w.t. always. Amru bil ma'ruf, Yanhaa 'anil mungkar.. And so the list goes on..

Back In Sight

Cloud gazing gets repetitive after some time, y'know.. I cant help but feel sooooo bored at home. There's nothing much that can be done. Revisions? Hah, its not possible at home. So.. I've turned to calling my friends and such. It does get a bit weird and awkward sometimes but oh well.. Thats how I pass my time.

Today, I had an appointment at the hospital to do some check-ups. It was no biggie.. It ended at about 3pm so I decided to go to school. The bus ride from KK Hospital to school was quite nice. I got to sit at my favourite spot.. Anyway, I arrived at Braddell and I though.. "Hey, why dont I do I'tikaf at the mosque?" ... And so I did.

I waited for 'Asr prayers, after which I met up with the soccer boys. The moment I saw Farid and Bukhari, I gave them a huge hug. Well, at first, they went up to change but when they got to the field, they were told to wait because the girls were still playing netball. As for me, I sat the the canteen, drinking cola.

When the soccer training started, I watched them with enthusiasm.. only to get bored after half an hour. Haha, I walked around the school for a few times and then saw some of the netballers at the void deck, sitting down and talking, I guess. Not bothering them, I got back to the canteen and resumed watching the boys.

At about 6:55pm, I made my way to the mosque. Checked the void deck and it was empty. So then, I did my Maghrib prayers and after that, I waited for Bukhari and Farid to wash up. We went back home together, like good old times :)

On another note.. I think Im having a huuuuuge YET innocent crush on ... someone. Teehee~ Only Farid and Bukhari know.. and also Nisa. Well well.. I cant help but giggle everytime I think about her. Sigh.. This is so sweet. But hey, I know that it aint meant to be.. whatever, I dont care. I'll still like her anyway.. hehe ;D

Oh oh oh, and tomorrow.. Im gonna be meeting Farid and Bukhari. Its unconfirmed but yeah, hopefully I'll see them tomorrow. Also.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! This girl is stuck in my mind! *giggles uncontrollably*

Missing

Suddenly, I miss my hugs with Farid and Bukhari. Lately, I've been feeling so emotional and lonely.. Gosh, I really need them right now. In fact, seeing them would probably make me smile.. Yeah it would.

I start to look back.. these past few days have been quite.. dramatic, to say the least. Minus my wrist injury, things dont seem to be very exciting. And at times, life just seemed to be at a stand-still. I cant wait for my cousins to come for sleep-over..

Lastly, I just wanna say this.. When a person is sad, being smart-alecky doesnt help. Heck, sometimes, it just helps to turn off your phone.. and just close the door to the world..

Goin With The Flow

It comes again this day, this blessed day.. when plans are unclear and anything can happen. Today, it seemed as if it was clearly going to be uneventful. However, things worked.. as always.

As usual, I got ready to go for my Friday prayers. I bade goodbye to all my family members and went off. The bus didnt take too long to arrive and so I enjoyed a calm ride to the mosque. When I did arrive at the mosque, I did my sunnah prayers and listened to the sermon.

Afterwards, I met up with Haziq who was so eager to watch a movie, namely 'Karate Kid'. I didnt have much hope as the whole crew wasnt there. Aziz had CCA programmes at school. Luqman Nur was.. I dont know, gone. And Luqman Hakim had to go home. So at that time, it was Haziq and I.

Then, we saw Mr Izzad and we invited him to watch the movie with us. Remembering athletics training at 5, he declined the offer. Instead, he went to take his skateboards and waveboards to play at the void deck. Meanwhile, Haziq went into the toilet to do whatever business he needed to do..

So anyway, the netball girls openly CHALLENGED me to come to the court. Not backing away from it, I gladfully walked into the court. So here it was.. I had to contend with Faiqah to see who could score the most "goals" (Or whatever its called..) within 5 shots. Hehe, being the speedy basketballer I am, I was quite rigid since there was no board behind the hoop.

We didnt manage to finish the challenge. Mdm Faizah saw me and called me, asking me for wha reason I was playing with the girls. I was glad to explain my reasons, though inwardly regretting what I did.. Cause you know, it could probably tarnish my good image. But hey, Mdm Faizah wasnt too mad at me. In fact, I was off the hook..

Mr Izzad arrived moments later and I played like a happy child. But then, it got to this moment when I was riding on his Ripstik Air and I fell.. wrist first. Gosh.. the pain was blinding. I didnt get up at all. Sure enough, Mr Izzad was there to check on me. We got some ice and for the next half hour, I let the cold ice do whatever its supposed to do. And yet, when Haziq and I left, it still hurt..

At about 3:30pm, Haziq and I arrived at Eng Wah Cinemas at Toa Payoh. We bought the tickets to 'Karate Kid' and excitedly got inside. Lemme tell you, the movie was awesome. The film toyed around with my emotions. At times, I'd be so touched and others, in awe.. and sometimes, just plain old angry. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it an 8..

I bade goodbye to Haziq and chased for my bus, alighting at Muhajirin Mosque once again. After performing my 'Asr prayers, I went back home, still cringing from my injured wrist. Once, I got home, I asked my Mum to massage my wrists which she did.. And boy, did it hurt!

Night time came and I watched 'Prince of Persia' on my computer. For tomorrow, I might be going out to buy some stuff for Father's Day. So yeah.. Hope my wrist gets better because gosh.. it REALLY hurts!!!

Oh and hey! I made a new friend today! Well, not really a new friend but at the least, made contact with Shifa (Sharifah Nabilah). Hehe, welcome into my life! May our friendship prosper and shine out.. We'll see

Surprise

Somehow, deep down inside, I felt very suspicious of my good buddy. His constant grin, his extra jumpy behaviour. Gosh, it ate me inside knowing that Aziz knew something big.. I wasnt informed of it.

Just a few hours before Zuhr, I left the house to meet Aziz. Supposedly, he wanted to have a talk with me. At the same time, we had the intention of buying gifts for Shazaa. So anyway, while we were at Junction 8, I saw Shaakira and Shazaa. At that time, I was holding Shazaa's unwrapped present so I darted out of sight, into Pastamania and into the opposite curb.

As Aziz chased me, I found myself a random spot and started wrapping the present spontaneously. Improvised.. Well anyway, when we went back down, they had already left. A bit disappointed, Aziz and I went back home. We took Bus 410G, a long journey back home.

When we arrived at my house area, I offered to send Aziz back home but he insisted I go down. He himself alighted from the bus. So, we walked to my house, into the house, up to my room, into my room and AAAAAHHH!!!
5 people singing happy birthday songs started to appear in my mind.. Shocked and shaking, I found myself the strength to cut the cake. Hahaha!

Went downstairs to the living room and enjoyed the cake. As time passed, I confirmed myself that this was all true. My dearest friends were actually IN my house. There was Muhammad, Aziz, Luqman Nur, Shazaa, Shaakira and Nisa. Hijannah came a bit later..

Minutes passed and we all ate the food my Mum cooked. Just so you know, my Mum was in on this surprise. Wow.. And I got to cut a cake. Hahaha, just to be nice, I let Shazaa cut the cake too since it WAS her birthday too..
Unfortunately, Shaakira had to leave first cause she had Smartlab. All the guys, excluding me of course, celebrated her departure.. jokingly, of course. And so, Mum asked me to walk her to the bus stop. Hehe, it was . . . quite nice. Hahahaha!

Went back home and joined the others. I checked the Powerpoint slide Luqman made for me in my room, which by the way is messy. It was soooo sweet! Thanks so much, Luqman!
Then, we took more photos and stuff. Again, someone also had to leave. This time it was Shazaa.. I offered to walk her to the bus stop but I guess some people wanted to tag along. Haha!

Went back to home again and this time, with Hijannah, we all watched Zohan *the cleaner version* in my room. Hahahaha! It was sooooo.. "jaw-dropping"
Every moment, we laughed together. We were like family together. Its a pity Shazaa and Shaakira werent there. So when the movie ended, I walked them all to the bus stop.

When I got back home again, my Aunt started guessing which one of those girls was my girlfriend. I was like ... "whaaaat?"
Dad got home and together with my Mum, my Grandma and my Aunt, we all had a nice dinner together.. What a nice ending..

Hey YOU! You're finally 17! How long has it been since we last knew each other.. 2 years? Haha, lets make it last a lifetime! Happy birthday, Shazaa! May Allah bless you :)

Random

If we had just one last night together, will you dance with me?

8hrs of Movies

Well.. I got a new cellphone. Gosh, its.. not what I had in mind but oh well.
Today, I woke up at about 12am.. I was so tired from yesterday and all.

Anyway, I watched 4 movies today. I watched 'Hotel for Dogs' (Emma Roberts was cute!), 'Another Cinderella Story', 'Yes Man' and lastly, 'This Christmas'. Didnt watch 'The Day After Tomorrow' cause I was too bored.. And and, I missed 'Made of Honor' which was on at about 11am till 1pm. Sigh..

Im thinking of meeting Aziz tomorrow but my parents wont allow me. Not at the moment though.. but we'll see. Until then..

Darul Tauheed Camp

At first, reading the paper, I was quite interested. The Darul Tauheed Camp.. sounded like fun. So alright, I joined for it. On the day it started, things started to go bad. My cellphone got spoiled and well, that reeked. Nevertheless, I remained on positive terms.

On the first day, we spent half of it in MPR3 with Pak Rizal, Pak Uus and Pak Asep. They were the trainers who came from Indonesia to help us for our camp programme. Their objective was simple. Inculcate the importance of Islam and our role in it. So first, they taught us so many stuff about Islam and we were captivated. We also had dinner, supper and of course, we had to set up our own tents. We were also separated into different groups and such. I got to become the leader of my group ;D

Anyway, on the first night, we all slept in our tents in the middle of the field. For me, I had a long chat with Muhammad in our tent. Nearly everyone couldnt sleep. In the end, I went to sleep at 2am.. only to wake up at 3am to wake everyone up.

Everyone washed up and trudged to the mosque to perform our Tahajjud. Nearly half of us didnt get to do it cause everyone didnt even know we were supposed to wake up for Tahajjud. Afterwards, we got ready and left for East Coast Park. In the bus, snores and grunts were heard.

We arrived at East Coast at about 5am. Even then, we had to walk some distance before everyone could settle down. We reached to this one spot and set up our mats and the call was made that everyone could rest for a while. When Subuh prayer came, we performed it so and then made our doa. Up above, lightning crackled menacingly. I gulped..

As the morning sun rose, we warmed up with some exercises and then we checked the beach. It was clear that everyone was bored. Then the food arrived and we all had breakfast. Soon, it rained and it was like.. "time to go home, everyone!"

Headed back to school and continued our classes in MPR3. Ate lunch, dinner, supper and in between those intervals, we performed our daily prayers. On the second night, we slept in our tents at the void deck. Unfortunately, when we left for East Coast, the tents got blown away so we moved them to the void deck. This time, I slept quite early. I slept in the tent with Helmi and Rifqi.

In the morning, I did my tahajjud and during the day, everyone participated in an amazing tace around the school. My group finished second last but it didnt matter. We had fun. On that day, lotsa people wished me a happy birthday. Ended the day with a group photo, with the birthday boys in front. Zaid and I. Happy birthday to us!

Got back home and my cousins came to celebrate my birthday. They bought me a toy helicopter and my Dad gave me a new wallet. My Mum bought me a cake and my Aunt gave me some money to spend. Overall, quite a good weekend.

Fyi, my cellphone is still broken so anyone who texted me from Friday till Sunday, do resend cause err.. I didnt get it. Oh well..

Notifications

Note to self..

1. Its just 2 days away
2. I have camp from today till Sunday
3. Gonna miss my friends who went overseas
4. "Bukhari, I wanna play Left 4 Dead at your house!"
5. I wanna learn how to Tango
6. I wanna learn how to do the Salsa
7. I wanna learn how to dance freestyle
8. Thinking of changing to prepaid
9. Getting bored
10. Not expecting anything on Sunday but nevertheless... anticipating
11. Selena Gomez is gorgeous!
12. Any ideas for raising funds for the Syria trip?
13. Out of ideas...

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Unprepared

I hate this.. I hate being so terrible and unprepared for badminton. I hate the fact that STE is getting closer. I hate the fact that everyone else is either busy or occupied. I hate it when plans dont work out as I would want it to. I hate it when I do things I wished I didnt do. I hate it when I cant explain the things I hate in a reasonable sentence. Gosh.. I hate all this..

It was such a tiring today. Okay, mainly from badminton practice. I got so frustrated when playing I nearly lost my temper. Darn racket, I keep hitting the metal parts. And oh gosh, I feel like the squad is nowhere close to being ready for Inter-Madrasah. Sigh..

So much drama today. One surprising moment was when Ms Nadiyawati and Cikgu Roszana wanted to talk to me. They were my primary school teachers and I found it quite weird when they teased me about my "love" life.. whatever.

Helped the student committee for the Syria plan. Gave out suggestions and stuff. Even though I cant go, Im helping out. Who knows.. maybe I can. God willingly, it will.. But then, really... I am just too tired to write any longer.

Have a good time Aziz in Bandung. Have a good time Mr Izzad in Kedah. Have a good time to the people going to KL or anywhere in Malaysia. And for me.. hmm.. *hint : 3 more days*
Hehehe.. oh well. I'll be at camp on that day.. *Gulp*
Well then, I better bring an extra pair of clothes..

"I need to know should I fight for love.. or disarm. Its getting harder to shield.. this pain in my heart"

Doing Something

Depending on the song Im listening to, my moods keep changing. Hehe, its kinda cute and weird but oh well.. Extra classes today were a killer, like the soul in me was being forced out of my body slowly. Gosh, if I could rate the day, I'd say it was horribly short..

But then again, Im a bit satisfied with myself after sorting out the mess on my desk. After all the procrastinating, I finally found some free time to do the cleaning. Sigh.. I still think my room is full of junk. But hey, thats for another day..

Oh, and my birthday is coming in 5 days and already my good buddy, Aziz, wished me a happy birthday. An advanced wish, of course. Seems that he'll be overseas on my special day. Oh well, thanks for the wish. I'll be sure to remember yours.

Haha, for the first time, Im anticipating my birthday. I've never felt so eager to know what might happen on that day... Oh wait, I have camp on that day. Hahaha, well, its just gonna be a half-day on that day. Gosh... *few moments passed* ... oh hey, now I dont care about my birthday.. Whatever happens, happens..

"See I would... If I could... I'll do anything spontaneously... You know I would"

Its Coming

In due time, the streak of June will come upon me. Its barrenness can be compared as a wasteland. Seeing an oasis within will seem like a miracle. However, it might not all be paradise.. because during these times, sandstroms are aplenty. I can only hope to shield myself from it inside my tent and hope that it goes ends as soon as possible..

Perhaps almost too soon, the boredom has set in. Classes and lessons arent exactly the things I look forward to during such blissful months. Sigh.. and oh, Im starting to feel moody right now. To the people I love, back away.. to the people I despise, you better be lucky when I see you.

Gosh, I think all this is going too fast. I cant remember a time when I used to be so free that I could fool around as much as I wanted to. What happened to all those moments?
You know what.. Im tired. With everything. Goodnight.

Dropping By

Even though things didnt start out well, it ended quite okay. Yeah, I feel quite a bit pleased with myself right now. Things seem slightly brighter after today.

Today, my dear cousins came to visit me. Erlyn, Nurul, Aiin and Faizal. They're all younger than me and they all keep calling me 'Abang Abdullah'. Haha, that aint something I hear everyday.
So anyway, the main reason they came was because they needed a tutor. Well, just the girls. Faizal is quite okay in terms of his studies.

So for the first 2 hours or so, I taught them maths and english. They all kept smiling at me and I was relieved, to say the least, that their maths aint that tough.
Afterwards, everyone except Erlyn went to the street soccer court to have a game of soccer. We played till our shirts were drenched with sweat.

We all went back and rested, not to mention.. perform our Zuhr prayers. Then, Nurul, Aiin and I went to Thomson Plaza to buy some stuff for my mother. Erlyn followed her parents to the petrol kiosk.

After we got back, we did our 'Asr prayers and went out to play soccer at the field. Erlyn and Faizal played with the other neighbourhood kids but Nurul, Aiin and I sat at the sides. Haha, in fact, Erlyn wore my shoes during the match.

We got back again and cleaned up. With the coming of dusk, they left off. Oh, and I cant wait to see them again next week. This time, I think I'll play as well..

Impromptu

What might have seemed to have been a bad weekend, turned out otherwise. Besides the fact that Aziz went to Malaysia and Luqman Nur was nowhere to be found, I kinda found my way into a better spot.

It started out yesterday. It was right after the Friday prayers. I had gone to take my slippers, accepting the fact that I would have to go back home. But then, as I moved behind a pillar, I saw Haziq and his siblings. My hopes were undaunted then. I didnt expect Haziq to change the situation at all. Then, Mr Izzad approached us. Still, I didnt think anything would change. Excusing myself, I went upstairs and shelfed my physics workbook and rushed back downstairs.

Near the mosque, we talked about the day's activities. Haziq planned to go watch 'Shrek' in the cinemas. Mr Izzad and I supported the plan but at that time, I was short of cash so I cast a sullen face. However, Mr Izzad was kind enough to pay for the both of us.

When we reached Junction 8's GV, I opted to watch 'Prince of Persia' instead. In fact, it had only just started and I pleaded to watch it. Both of them agreed and we hurried inside. The moment we reached inside, I could hear the pounding of the sound system. We sat down and realised we didnt have anything to eat or drink. I didnt mind cause I was too eager to care.

The movie was awesome. Prince Dastan's agility and endurance in the movie was remarkable. And Princess Tamina was indeed.. stunning!

"Why cant you keep your eyes off me?" (Princess Tamina) ... Hahaha, its quite clear why, my darling. The cinematography was impressive. Their view of Persia and other cities such as Alamut was displayed in its grandess and I was blown away by its fight scenes. Epic.. O_o

Afterwards, Mr Izzad treated Haziq and I at KFC. I felt a bit shy since he kept on paying for us. But then, he didnt mind much. Aww, how lucky I am to have such a good peer in my life!

So anyway, the three of us went back to school to perform our 'Asr prayers. Following that, we trained for badminton. We didnt play for long. After playing, it was clear that we werent ready for the Inter-Madrasah Games at all. Any self-esteem I had that day ebbed away with the coming of dusk.

We did our Maghrib prayers and then we all went back home...

The next day, we met up again. This time, I invited Abdul Rahman Rahim (Aman) along. As planned yesterday evening, we were going to trek our way around MacRitchie Reservoir.

Everyone met up at school at about 9+ in the morning. Stocking up on drinks and tidbits, we started the long walk to MacRitchie. As soon as we arrived, we checked the map and charted our route. It was the LONGEST route around MacRitchie, measuring a distance of about 12km. Thats about 30 rounds on the track, with slopes and hills.

Firstly, we made our way up the pathway. It was supposed to be a 6km walk to the Treetop Pathway. It started out fine. Everyone was happy, laughing and joking.

Nearing the 2.5km, it started to get repetitive. All I kept seeing was the road and loads of trees. Haha, we just kept on walking and walking. When we did arrive at the Treetop Pathway, we were panting. The reason to this was that it kept on going uphill, steeper and steeper. And by the time we got up, each and everyone of us were sweating.

We rested at one of the shelters. That was where we made our next move. We had 3 choices. Either walk the remainder 6km back to the MacRitchie Reservoir Park OR take a U-turn and walk all the way back from our previous path OR we could make for another path which led to a bus stand. Unanimously, the vote to continue stood out so we packed and moved on.

On the way, we took our time and went up Jelutong Tower. It was quite high but it was worth it. All of us rested there and enjoyed the cool air. I even felt like sleeping then and there. Oh well..

Continued the rest of the journey. It was a forced march since everyone's feet were sore and tired. Putting one leg in front of the other, we managed to finish the whole 12km. Whoa.. O_o

So, we all took a bus back to school and we rested in MPR3. I couldnt sleep so I watched 'Ironman 2' on Haziq's phone. It was cool and I missed watching it.. Took a bath and changed into a different shirt. We all did our Zuhr prayers, and then later, our 'Asr prayers.

We gave salaam to Mr Izzad and then, all 3 of us went to Junction 8 and had KFC. We were famished and we just had to eat. I went back home alone, enjoying the air-conditioning of the bus, listening to songs and drowning out my troubles...

SL Outing @ Changi Beach

Perhaps it was my eagerness to go to the outing that I panicked. In fact, I wasnt thinking straight when I was packing my bag. Much reason was due to the fact that I was late.. or so I thought I was.

I arrived at school within plenty of time. Whilst waiting, I busied myself with some little errands that I could do to help the Exco's. Soon, we had our briefing and shortly afterwards, we moved off to Changi Beach.

I was in quite a cheery mood today. My heart was compelled to open up and be nice to everyone. The first thing I did was to recognise all my group members. Well anyway, fast forward to the beach.. We had some ice-breaker games like 'Blow Wind Blow' and another game which involved drawing. It was quite the time-killer.

Well then, we all discussed our cheer for ours groups, mine went by the name of a Sahabah called Nuaym Ibn Masud. Okay.. fast forward even more, we had our amazing race. It was completely exhausting and truthfully, I enjoyed it. However, I lost my energy neat the end which was a bit of a downer.

We had lunch and then our prayers, followed by the prize giving presentation.. Then, we had a group picture (Which SHZ missed T_T) and finally, we were on our way back to school.

Everyone was tired. I met up with the other guys and we bathed and got ready to go out with Mr Izzad. The people going were Bukhari, Farid, Helmi, Abdul Rahman Rahim, Ruzaini, Haziq, Asyraf, Syakirin, Umar and Luqman Hakim. Not forgetting me and Mr Izzad, of course.

But then, we all had to make the card and we did our best to stall Mr Izzad in any way we could. I was trying my best to maintain my cool, colouring and pasting pictures. It was so 'whoa'...

We all went to New York Pizza at Khatib and we had 2 super large pizzas. One hawaiian and one bronx. Then, we had raspberry cheesecake and then we prayed at the field facing Khatib MRT station. We were in a hurry to do our Maghrib prayers and when we finished, 4 policemen confronted us and we had a decent talk. I couldnt help but laugh at how ridiculous the situation was. We all did..

And thanks sis for having that little talk at night. Awesome..uhuh..
Yeah well, perhaps tomorrow I'll dedicate a post to Ms Macchiato and her new marriage with Mr Frappuccino. That aite? Great..

The Chill

The winds keep getting colder. The air, chilly. Within such a short time, my summer is turning into autumn. A phase where temperatures drop, the season changes.. most prominent, the change of colour in the leaves. Yeah.. the seasons changing again.

The hardship, or in this case, the hard part today was in swallowing the bitter truth. All I can say is... 3 weeks of studying resulted in average and almost heart-breaking marks. Perhaps it never dawned on me that such things could turn out. In fact, I almost cried when I got my physics paper. I felt as if I'd let all my teachers down and whoa.. I hate this

Well anyway, to make things worse, the semester is almost ever. This is going to be one of the last few days where I sit as chairperson. All that honour heaped on me.. oooohh.. I want to hold on to all my posts. Call me selfish but ooohh sigh.. I love helping out everyone

Okaay.. I've been experiencing these multiple drizzles. Now, I expect rain. And lots of it..

Dreading

The drizzle is continuing to wash away the tides of sorrow. Bittersweet thoughts flood my mind. Im trying my best to ignore them. Oh gosh, the lyrics that float in my head really make it so sad. Yeah, Im a bit sad..

But hey, the exams are over. Only the dread of knowing the results make it terrible. Just today, I got back my malay, maths and english papers. Malay and maths really brought me down. I passed.. but it wasnt actually outstanding. But my english results were quite gratifying. I guess all the writing and blogging paid off, huh? My composition was described as being 'naughty'. Haha, well ... I have no comment on that.

For the rest of the day, the whole class pretty much sat in their own stupor, awaiting the end of the day. I found myself quite bored too.. But then I moved to one of my friend's place and he went on talking about the latest gossip. Well, I can say that I found out many things..

One good part of the day was when Ustd Salehin showed us a movie called 'Coach Carter'. Unfortunately, the movie had to be cut short because of the lack of time. What a bummer..

I went back home with the guys. There were nine of us. We walked together lazily, stopping at a shop to buy some tidbits. Thats when it got cute. Everyone shared their tidbits and we all started feeding each other. I couldnt help but smile at seeing such loving affection we had for each other.

And it seems I have to cut this entry short too. Hmm.. Im thinking of packing some stuff to entertain myself tomorrow. Storybooks.. sketchbooks.. what else? Oooohh.. I want walkie-talkies so I can talk to some people in different classes. Wouldnt that be awesome? Oh well..

Training

Swords need to be sharpened and taken care of for it to be efficient. The same principle goes for people and their skills. Everyone needs to train and practice in order to be good in that skill.

Well anyway, I took an opportunity today to go to badminton practice. Now I know it wasnt exactly for guys but err.. I was accepted, to say the least.
Boy, it really felt good playing again. And with my little sis there, I felt more comfortable knowing I had someone I knew who was with me.

In time, the other girls accepted me and I felt quite good. As a finishing game, I had a small match with Sir and I was quite nerved by his shots. They were so quick and I barely had time to recover before his next shot. My only way out was to smash my way into his court.

Following my 'Asr prayers, I went back home with my lil' sis and got back home in time to perform my Maghrib prayers and had dinner with my parents. And ooohh, tomorrow is a school day. Oh well.. at least I get to meet my loved ones ;D

A Breeze

The dark skies have parted and now the light shines down. I can hear the birds singing again. I can feel the wind once again. I can taste the fresh air again.

Almost like a huge gale of relief, MYE's are over. So much has been put into doing my best in it. I can tell you that I wasnt in the perfect health condition but I pulled through. It was bitter. Amidst all that perspiration, there was STILL a part of my life that had to be devoted to my ties to other people. More or less, I kinda detached myself from everyone. It felt great but somehow it got a negative effect afterwards. People kept being worried about me. Im glad to have people who care for me but really ... lay off. When I need alone time, I need it.

Somehow, or perhaps maybe, I find myself with the people I want to be all over again. In the days that followed the end of the exams, I found myself in a garden of flowers, accompanied with people I loved and people I cared for. To tell you the truth, the weather and the location at that time wasnt all that spectacular. However, being with certain people really made it all worth the while.

And again, I guess I can say that I am being pampered. My calls have been answered and once again, light shines down again. It almost seems weird, not being together for so long and then suddenly, seeing that person again and again. It almost seems like a dream. Oh sigh.. Im expecting a twist to this dream.

This time, I got the chance to watch a movie with my sweet friends. Oh, I was delighted, to say the least. At least, until the movie ended. That old part of me woke up and some of my negative feelings started to eat away my insides. My energy was drained and I couldnt lift a huge enough smile..

And now, I am back at home.. wondering. If this is all a normal phase then I think that somehow.. SOMEHOW.. I am going to get very depressed all over again. I think so too. And I am afraid of being so but I just cant keep on maintaining all this. Its weird for me to say this. Uhuh.. it sure it. Kinda makes me forewarned about the weather ahead..

Dark clouds and lightning? You betcha..

Hoping

Sigh..
I dont know.. things arent looking up for me. I have tried dealing with it, trying to make myself think that its good for me but it seems that Im failing.
I miss those sweet moments where I didnt really care. Those moments when my attention was limited to only my parents, my teachers and my friends. Seems that lately, Im being tested?

My room is now filled with the sound of love songs. It reminds me of so many things, so many people. Oh sigh.. Is it possible just to exit the current situation Im in without hurting anyone? I guess not..

Again, Im ever hoping for that flower to face the Sun and see itself for its beauty and realise its potential for something even bigger. Im ever hoping for that cat to find its caring owner and return to him and shower him with all its love. Im ever hoping for that net to tear and finally see that what it caught the day before was the best catch ever. Im ever hoping for that cookie to be eaten by someone who deserves it more than I do.

Call the above paragraph nonsense but hey, only I know its meaning. Hmm.. if this is the challenge that I am facing . . . well then, I guess Im not doing a good job at the moment..
Not one bit...

Revising

The past few months, on account of days, feels like its been a year. Every day seemed to have been so meaningful, even though my objectives were so small. To catch a glimpse, to wait for the moment. As a whole, it feels so quick. I dont remember a day when I havent been occupied with things to do. Trivial stuff, I guess.

And now comes the month of May, the month of trials. Mid-Year Examinations have started and somehow, the switch to study has been turned on. But then, I think that even though its taking out a lot of my time, I feel that its good for me. Revising over old subjects and learning knew things numb me from the pain of problems and such. Never has a day not gone by without me thinking of social stuff. But then again, I guess this is where all the advice comes to aid me in my hours of confusion.

Its kinda hard.. I just feel like resting from all this. Oh cmon, I need a break to relieve myself and clear my thoughts. Return to the path and then continue on my way.. Gosh, so much is happening. This is causing so much heartache, I feel like its overpowering me.
And as my eyelids slowly descend, I just hope that things might be better the next day..

Clarity

Yearning for something so much knowing that its never going to be possible.. the thought just hurts. Perhaps I have bottled up too much of my feelings. Indeed, the need to ask people's opinions is there. Though, with all the advice in the world, acceptance of the bitter truth is a must.. Truly, this pains me.

I have learnt only recently that letting go is fine. With this notion, my thoughts arent so muddled up and things seem more clearer. But whatever the case, it still hurts.

Maybe.. Maybe its going to work out anyway? I dont know.
I just hope from the bottom of my heart that along with this realisation, with it is the resolution to focus. Tsk.. something Im bad at.
With the coming exam season, I guess a daily entry isnt much of a possibility. Heck, thats the truth..
Wassalam..

Angie

Undoubtedly, in times of sadness, there is always someone who is there to help you up..

Someone who you can always open your heart to..
Someone who is there to listen and understand..
Someone who just makes it worth your while knowing them..

Indeed, people like these are hard to come by. However, I have found someone that fits such requirements. Perhaps that person isnt 100% perfect but in my eyes, there is no else like her.

She is the serenating music that fills me. She is the lullaby that softens my heart. She is that close friend who has never ... so far ... left me.
Guilt rises within me, knowing that I take away her time to listen to my troubles. I feel saddened and yet, being around her makes me feel rejuvenated.

I love her unconditionally for being so dear to me. Lovers we arent but truly, she is my dearest..
Thank you, Angie..

A Sad Day

The sun rose, scorching the horizon with its warmth and light. All creatures earth-bound or not awoke from their deep slumber. I too, woke up with the beginning of a new day. Without taking notice of anything else, I slumped myself into the bathroom and went through the normal phase of cleaning.

10 minutes later, all dressed and ready, I left the house with a heavy heart. Deep down, a piercing shriek reveberated around the inner walls of my heart. Sighing, I went to the bus stop and waited for my bus to come.

The moment I got in the bus, a lot of eyes darted towards my direction. Amidst the many secular students, I was a peculiar sight with my striking yellow and green uniform. Ignoring everyone, I plunged myself into a state of passiveness. With soft music serenating me, I dared to daydream about the day's events.

Soon, I arrived at my stop. I tapped out of the bus and walked as slowly as I could to school. The cool feeling of morning drifted away, bit by bit. Slightly annoyed by this, I trudged up the stairs of the mosque and waited for the perfect time to leave for school.
The moment came and I hurried in putting on my shoes. Finding my class, I sat right infront, assigning myself as the class monitor. Looking at the eyes of my classmates, I sighed deeply.

Right after the assembly, I moved away from my class and went to my usual spot beside my juniors. Like every Friday, the secondary students would have a performance. This proved to be a good time for me to take pictures. With it, I gain some familiarity with the secondary students of the school.
A half hour passed and I obtained quite a number of pictures. Slightly bothered by my emptiness, I took my time in walking soas to be the last to leave the void deck.

The lessons started and either willingly or unwillingly, I put myself in class. The language teacher entertained us with his positivity and witty impressions of people. Somehow, my lips remained unmoved.
A second recess was called and I found myself alone yet again. To this, my closest friends came to me and tried to comfort me. Despite their attempts to make me talk, my heart would not open up. I walked away from them, feeling guilty and frustrated at myself for being so selfish in the face of help.

The lessons continued afterwards and I found myself even more restless in class. I fidgeted and kept looking out the window. It seemed as if every second dragged. My mind was lost in a sea of confusion and mysticism. When finally class ended, the whole class was instructed to go to the hall. I trudged down the stairs and got into the hall, sitting by some good friends. There, the teacher had us write our likes and dislikes about exams.
By the end of the ordeal, I felt so miserable. I left immediately and went to do my prayers.

After that, I headed over to assist my religious teacher. However, I had to hand over the class keys to my assistant and at the same time, I had to meet the teacher in charge of discipline.
Hastily, I ran down 4 storeys to meet the discipline master. Luckily, he was in a good mood so I was excused from the prefect meeting.

I ran back to the teacher's room, meeting one of my classmates and handed the keys to her before continuing my hurried sprint. I arrived back in time to help carry some stuff for my teacher. I was occuped for the next half hour performing the duties he instructed me.

A half hour later, I returned to the canteen, tired and sweaty. The weather wasnt helping either. It remained humid and no breeze accompanied it. My mood worsened increasingly. My close friends came by and sat with me. Fred, Andy and Mike seemed to notice my sadness. They tried to cheer my up by telling their adventures at the 8th storey. At this piece of news, I lost a nerve and walked away, finding a place to be alone.

I found myself brooding at the 5th storey. I tried to think clearly, trying to figure out my current problems but it seemed unexplainable. Out of nowhere, Sarah, the apple of my eye, the dove of my heart appeared and accompanied me. Still, my heart would not open. It hurt, knowing that the deepest pits of my heart remained locked and unopened. My soul reached out to her, almost wanting to get closer but my body stayed rooted. She left me feeling emptier than a tin can.

Fred and Mike came afterwards and tried to comfort me yet again. I could sense the seriousness of Fred's voice and the worry in Mike's voice. They made me feel even more guiltier. At that moment, I lost all sense of happiness. I left them and just walked and walked and just kept on walking.

I guess the weather might have mimicked my feelings at that time because it rained heavily. Lightning crackled and thunder rolled in the clouds overhead. It darkened greatly, worrying my few friends who were still at school.
I went to my class and tried to take the time to rest in the cool weather. But then, 4 of my female classmates entered the class and just did their own stuff. They wondered why I was still at school and I told them of my plans of studying with my friends. They nodded understandingly and carried on taking pictures of themselves. They didnt mind me much and I quite enjoyed the absence of guys for the time being.

Andy came to my class and called me down for our class with our maths teacher. He explained his heartfelt feelings for me which made me feel indifferent. I went down to the extra classes with him. There, I found the others and the teacher. They kept quiet around me, knowing that I was too occupied to bother them.

After the lesson, in an attempt to cheer me up, they all hugged me affectionately. A small smile eased upon my face. We went to wait out our extra minutes for prayer time. I still felt a bit sad somehow but I looked up, hoping to see Sarah again. Hopes fell when no sight of her came. In fact, it was Angie that I saw. She didnt seem to care much that I was there nor did she greet me. To this, I regained some feeling of bitterness and resentment. Lowering my sights, I went to perform my prayers.

Seeing as how I wasnt quite in the mood to take the bus, I took the train with Fred and Andy. I was glad that they didnt remind me the day's events. I sighed out the last moments of the day and returned to the very same place I left in the morning. . .

Trembling

Sigh..
Things are really piling up on me this year, arent they?
I got to become chairperson for S4A, chairperson for S4C and now.. Im selected to be a student leader. Well, I guess its not much compared to Aminah who has been chairperson for 4 years straight.. but I guess its better than nothing.

However, I feel more emotionally distraught than ever. How I wish the other things in life that I really cared for would come true. I.. I.. I feel like giving up all over again.
Shucks... My body just became weak and my heart is aching, my spirit shaken and my will breaking..
I just feel like shouting so much. Aaarrggghh! I need to talk to this beloved friend of mine right now and pour out my heart's content.. in the hope that I will regain some stability.

Wassalam..

Happy Feet

Today was quite a terrific day!
I was quite enthusiastic in class since we did have some free periods so I pretty much enjoyed it. I was in a malay poetic mood so Ilyas, Taufiq and I conversed using poems. I was rolling with laughter after every poem. Yeah, I guess there's a first for everything.

After school, I danced in the lift lobby beside the canteen. Ali Imran and Luqman Hakim sat there too and watched me. Adam S5 and Abdul Rahman Rahim laughed from afar. Ali quoted that I had "happy feet" ... Haha, thats cute!

Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today. Oh, and I completed homework at home.. hehe, I feel so good now :)
Wassalam..

Dental

Things seem a bit better today.. I guess thats quite true.
I woke up at 7 in the morning today cause I got a dental appointment. Without haste, I got ready and left the house.

Supposedly, I was due to meet Farid and Fahmi at Outram Park at 9am. However, because they werent familiar with the place, we exited at different places and it took some time for me to find them. By then, my appointment was about to start.

My check-up took longer than the 2 of them. It lasted an agonising 2 hours, with it the constant opening of my mouth and the incessant drilling and poking of my teeth. Man, I found it quite nauseating after the first hour. I developed a headache afterwards.. Sheesh, talk about the wrong time to receive one.

The 3 of us went to school together. I had quite a good time in the train, listening to songs and dancing. Farid and Fahmi would join me too, but not as expressive. It was awesome.
We arrived at school at about 12:30am.. Quite something, eh?

Well umm.. my class seems to have gotten the message. Keep quiet. Err.. Ilyas was absent so I guess the class wasnt that noisy.
After school, I had badminton training. Im very sorry to Luqman Hakim, who got his badminton racket broken. How it got broken is quite weird though...

Luqman Nur and I were playing together. I was using someone's racket and Luqman Nur was using Luqman Hakim's racket. One time, Luqman and I were chasing for the shuttlecock which was in mid-air. I got there first but Luqman Nur has already swung his racket and it hit my arm. Funny thing was, my arm didnt get hurt but the racket broke in two. My first reaction was... "How in the world did it break???"

I felt a bit guilty so I kept my low. I started getting tense afterwards, constantly hitting the net. When training ended, I went home with Luqman Nur. I bought a cake for my mom cause its her birthday today *woohoo!*

Oh, and my mom says thanks to Farid, Luqman Nur and Aminah who wished her a happy birthday.. hehe, thanks.
Wassalam..