Doin Good

Mama told me that if something you want doesnt happen now, then something better is bound to come in the future. Well, I guess thats a silver lining.. though not a shiny one, I guess. All this senseless crying and moodiness isnt good for me, especially with STE coming up. I have to recover from lost time and begin preparations. Yeah I know.. I prepared late.

I know that most of my previous predecessors will mock me for exaggerating STE's importance but then again, I do encompass my feelings with nearly everything I do. So yeeaahh.. Sentimental, very.

Word of the Irsyadian girl's victory has come to everyone's attention. I was quite confident in saying to Bukhari that the girls were really good, and about 3 hours later, my statement yielded bold results. 1st in overall.. Now that aint bad. Im gonna be truthful.. I wish I was there to take pictures. But oh well, I would've been tossed out even if I was there..

The main story now is.. how are the guys gonna fair? Here, they're up against older athletes who MIGHT have a certain edge. But I tell you, the Irsyadian guys are dreaming big. I know that we can do it.. I know.. Just in advance, I wanna wish the Irsyadian guys good luck. Bittaufiq wannajah!

But then when all the cheering is over and the screaming has died down, when the banners have been kept safely and the instruments neatly tucked in the stores, I'll be back in my room, contemplating what I could've done if I had played. Sigh.. I hate this down feeling. But then again, I like that I have this feeling. Shows that Im human in wanting something I've been waiting for until . . .

My cousins are coming over tomorrow. One of them is gonna be holding the Olympic torch for her school and Im so proud of her. I wonder if she's gonna recommend me as a runner too? Hahaha, I guess not.. Oh well

Want

Things have been hard these past few weeks. There's hardly been anything uplifitng, except for short moments. You know, it ceases to amaze me why I dont go crazy with all that Im keeping to myself.. Oh well, I wouldnt be surprised if it happens now..

The arabic oral for Prelim was quite disappointing. Sadly, I couldnt stop stuttering and bumbling over every word. Gosh, this is sooo not good. And truthfully speaking, I dont think Im ready for STE at all.. And this aint even O's yet.. Can you imagine?

When will this rollercoaster ride end cause I cant take it. Im bored. I feel terrible. I want end.
You know, I watched this arabic program about the Prophet (pbuh) and I was like.. feeling ashamed. Just imagine if he saw me, all a muck. Even Im sorry for myself..

So anyway, I have dikir barat rehearsals and a seminar at MUIS with my buddies. Hmm, I wanna rock-wall climb with Mr Hazrin again. I wanna go to the Gardens with Shazaa and the gang. I wanna spend a whole month at school, how's that?

Unplanned

The cool mists which would blanket the grass. The dew-covered leaves, magnifying its features. The serene peace and calm of the surroundings. These are some of the reasons I find early morning to be the best time of the day. Where everything is at the beginning..

How enraged I was to have overslept and woken a few hours later. It was frustrating. In fact, I did wake up in the morning, only to be lulled back to sleep. Gritting my teeth, I got out of bed and washed up, getting ready for the day ahead..

On the previous night, I had planned my day's activities.. Jogging, studying, uploading pictures and getting my hair cut. This was all set to change.. Papa called me, asking me to water the plants. It was back-breaking work, watering all 41 of them. Not to mention, carrying buckets of water again and again..

Since it was nearing noon, I guessed that it wasnt such a nice time to jog so I abandoned the idea. Instead, I turned on the computer and started uploading the pictures from the previous week. It didnt help when my computer started to lag inappropriately. In the end, I could only muster up the time and energy to publish 2 albums. Oh well..

Not to forget all the wonderful people who texted me today. It brightened me up, plastering a wide smile on my face. Indeed, things would've been better if they were around to encourage me to study. Fact of the matter is, I didnt even revise or study a single thing. I was quite disappointed.

However, the trouble of getting my hair cut is over for now. It took up half an hour of my day to walk to the barber, get a haircut and walk back home. All in all, I must admit that I wasted my day. But then again, what's done is done.

Accepting

Fact of the matter is, everything is moving. Time passes by and no one can do anything to change it. Biting this part of life was hard.. Swallowing the possibilty of continuing without things not going as I would like it to. Gosh, its terrible..

Maybe it was coincidence or maybe even destiny that I heard a song which opened my eyes to the general picture. Allah s.w.t. really shapes things beautifully.. How something seemingly heart-breaking can lead me back to Him. I know.. Im still holding some bit of anger within myself. Sigh.. its hard to let go..

As everything supposedly major edges closer, I cant help but feel nervous, perhaps even scared for myself. Everything is happening so quickly, as opposed to all those years ago when time seemed to stand still. Im at this point in life where I choose my crossroads and truthfully speaking, Im lost and I dont speak the local language.. Im on my own

So help me.

Miserable

Thunder rolled above, lightning crackled. Coupled together, they mimicked the worst of me. Waking up in the morning was bad enough without having to remember about the day's events. It was Saturday.. the IMG badminton games play-offs..

Naturally, I would've seemed pumped with excitement. Instead, a deep sense of loathing grew within me, knowing that I wouldnt be there to play but to take pictures. Sighing deeply, I got out of bed and got ready to leave..

In about a half hour's time, I was all packed. Even as I left the house, it drizzled on endlessly. The mood was set for bitterness. Checking the time, I knew I wouldnt reach Al-Arabiah in time. Gritting my teeth was all I could do as I waited for Bus No. 57 to arrive. As soon as it did, I boarded hastily, followed by 4 Wak Tanjong boys. Ignoring them, I just waited..

I reached the school just as the players were given a briefing. Then and there, my spirit seemed to crumble, knowing that I should have been amongst them.. and not looking on from one side.
Everyone made their way to the court and as soon as we arrived, the games started. I watched with great excitement and undying hatred. Deep down, I was fighting with myself to maintain composure..

Near the end of the last round, I willed myself not to be negative. I sought the enemy's weak areas and, as difficult as it was for me, I helped my friends win. It was great to see them win but really, I was dying inside..

I saw my friends smiling and laughing. I could see my teachers, with ecstatic expressions on their faces. And me, I was miserable.. News came to me that Irsyad's netballers won too. Good for them, I thought. The fire inside me died even more.. Everyone was happy with me out of the picture..

With the end of the games, all the Irsyadians went back to school to have lunch. The moment we reached school, I made my way to the mosque with the intention of being alone. After Zuhr, everyone was gone. And so, I made my home, alone.. with a slight drizzle, an eerie silence and a very, very sad feeling lingering around..

Saving Memories

So far, the Inter-Madrasah Games have been on everyone's minds. Even for me, its really stirring up the school spirit within. Yesterday, the Inter-Madrasah soccer games were held at Irsyad so its pretty much home turf for our team. However, I had duties in the morning so I hurriedly finished up the P1 resgistration thing..

It was blistering hot by 11am and naturally, I would've sought for shade. But hey, I guess taking pictures was more important so I hung on. By about 12pm, the clouds above covered most of the Sun and that was a great relief.. Oh, and Mr Izzad lent me his zoom lens and his other one. It was awesome, y'know..

All the soccer players were quite good. I gotta say, I was quite thrilled seeing different madrasah students at Irsyad. It was quite colourful and I got to know some people. But still, Irsyad had to fight off fierce competition. At the end of the day, the senior team managed 2nd place whilst the juniors got 3rd place. It was a satisfactory result for Irsyad but nevertheless, they all did good..

Insya Allah, I will be going to the Sepak Takraw games and of course, the senior badminton games. Last but not least, the usual.. athletics. In light of all the fun and games, I just remembered that my Prelims are just a few weeks away. Kinda makes me wanna skip it.. oh well, there're just some things I cant escape..

Today, I slept a lot (Dunno why..)

I remember sleeping in the bus, sleeping at home, sleeping and sleeping. Gosh, I dont feel like studying at all. Im still worked up with my messy room and slightly irked that I dont have an idea for Syu's story (Sorry..)

Tomorrow morning is the World Cup finals and I hope Netherland wins, though anything is possible. Fast forward a few hours ahead and its school.. Great.

Mood update.. depressed, cranky, tired, whatever..

Up A Notch

STE preparations are being taken up a notch.. and I dont like this. Minus the sweltering hot weather, the classes just seem to drag on and on and on. Believe me, I tried my best to stay up.. And so did my tablemates.. But its just soooooo 'bleargh!'

Hmm.. Well today, I finally read Aziz's birthday present to me which is the 'Percy Jackson : Demigod Files' book. Man, I was lost in my own world reading it. In fact, there were random moments when I'd laugh at something I read and Muhammad and Taufiq would look awkwardly at me. But hey, I enjoyed myself..

After school, Luqman and I stayed back to "study". I DID have the intention to do my maths work. In the end, I finished only a few questions (Rough working though..) and continued to play with Ruzaini's iPhone. Oooohh, and thanks Shaakira for the brownies. It was D-E-licious! Oh oh, and also.. get well soon, Bukhari and Helmi! And and.. Good luck to all S5's for their oral and also.. their O's. Aaaaaand, good luck to all S4's! Start revising now cause there's little time left yo~

Reminders to self.. Revision. Ten Year Series (Booooooo!). Drink lotsa water to stay up in class. Revision. Practise maths and science (BOOOOOOOO!). Prioritise on ONLY important things.. ok wait, no.. MOSTLY

So there.. some reminders. Oh darn, I still owe Syu your little fairytale!!! >___<
Dont worry.. I promise to write it by this Sunday, aites? Take care then..

A Game of "Bball"

Being spontaneous is fun. In fact, today seemed to be a a gloomy day cause I already felt terrible the moment I woke up. But then, that's where having friends living close to you help easen the situation.

Calling up Aziz, Luqman Nur ans Haziq, we agreed to met up at the usual court behind Aziz's house to play basketball. I was fired up, knowing that at least I wouldnt be rotting at home, alone. I told Mama I was leaving the house and also grabbed my maths textbook, for studying purposes.

I stumbled upon Luqman Nur at Cheers. Together, we met Aziz at the court. Haziq was supposedly late so we started playing. Perhaps it wasnt such a good idea cause it was mid-day when we played. Nevertheless, we continued playing. We practised our shots and stuff like that..
Haziq arrived with Istighfar tagging along. They were going for LAN Gaming later on so he brought a friend along. We decided to have a match, 3 on 2. I opted to leave Luqman Nur and Aziz in one group and the rest in the other cause they were good.

However, we decided using 'Osom' technique. I got paired with Haziq. Our opponents were Luqman Nur, Aziz and Istighfar. It seemed that the odds were stacked against us. Luqman was a skilled player. Aziz was an awesome 3-pointer scorer and Istighfar was quick and huge. But hey, we didnt care.
Somehow or rather, we were balanced in a way. Aziz's team dominated in numbers and brute force but me and Haziq were quick. I noticed that Haziq is getting better in basketball.. Kudos, brother!

Anyway, I couldnt believe myself, running rings around the opponent in the blazing sun. Unbelievably, the score was (6-4) to Aziz and the guys. Haziq and I werent so bad. After a short rest, we continued the game.
I gave it my all, zig-zagging around Luqman and Istighfar, then passing it to Haziq who seemed to be determined to win as well. In the end, the score was (9-9) ... game point. First to (10) would win.

So anyway, I was in the box with the ball. I slipped past Aziz. Istighfar was running to my right side, Luqman was running in front of me and Aziz was closing up my back exit. I couldnt escape and suddenly, Istighfar caught my foot and I mis-stepped on the ground, hurting my ankle. The game was paused..

Since it was clear that everyone was tired, we opted for a shoot-out. And you know what? I scored the winning point! Wooooooo! Haziq and I celebrated like we'd won the World Cup! Hahaha, the family name of 'Abdullah' is upholded!

All of us bought Bubble Tea, bade goodbye to Haziq and Istighfar after that. Luqman Nur and I went back to Aziz's house. We rested and took out our assesment books and stuff, intending to study. However, we got distracted. Instead, we played with Aziz's iPad and watched 'The Simpsons'. Ended up finishing some questions only.. Thanks to Aziz's Mum for the pizza. It was real nice of you :)

When we wanted to go home, Luqman Nur found out that his shoes were stolen. Sad, huh? So he borrowed Aziz's slippers. Who ever stole my friend's shoes, I hope you get whats coming to you..
So thats it then.. and tomorrow, my first day in school with long sleeves -____-

New Roles

Recap:

I had qiyam yesterday at school with the S1's and S4's. As per normal, we had dinner, followed by Maghrib prayers and munajat session. The usual.

We skipped revision time cause all the munajat-ing took up most of the evening.. But I enjoyed the hugging moments. Ustd Mustaqim and Ustd Salehin really said some nice things to me. Im glad.. We got on to preparing our sleeping areas and stuff like that..

Moments later, nearly every guy in the MPR3 left to watch the match between Holland vs. Brazil. I joined for a while and smiled ecstaticly when I found out Holland won.. Papa will be happy!

Everyone returned to their places and slept. We woke up at about 4:50am and got ready. Performed Tahajjud and then we did our Subuh at the mosque. Debriefing and done.. Mukhayyam was over.

Got ready for the Haflah and all. Lemme tell you, I wasnt quite used to tucking in.. But anyway, I took out my camera and started capturing "moments". However, I had to safekeep my camera backstage during the SL Investiture.. Wish I coulda taken the pictures T_T

Afterwards, I got into the Auditorium and took more pictures. Then it got to the prize-giving ceremony. Mr Izzad passed me his huge 7D and I was supposed to take the pictures upfront. It was . . . nerve-wrecking. I HAD to get the pictures correct.. Hope it turns out ok

Took more pictures and soon, the haflah ended. Then, some of the guys returned to the Audi and the tech guy turned on Okto, big screen! We watched 'Spongebob Squarepants'. Hahaha, it was fun! Oh, and I also helped clean up the void deck.

I stayed back for Zuhr and whilst waiting for the azan, I fell asleep in the prayer hall. Luckily, Helmi woke me up just as prayers started. It was obvious that I was tired so I went home.. My cousin came and without knowing, I fell asleep again. Woke up at night..