Action

What can I do?
Everywhere, news of disease, war, disasters.
But in no way can I help. I can only pray. Thats just it, isnt it? I... cant stand to just sit and do nothing. I want to help! I do! But unless there's like a free booth for people who want to help people in need. Here I am in my room with the comforts of everyday life whereas other people have to fight for food or protect their loved ones from whatever rebellion in the world there is. I feel so helpless. I feel so sick to the core... Sigh... What can I do?
Thats the question that needs answered...

Sincerity

I dont like Malaysia. I dont like going there. I dont like a country of Malays. Thats what I thought upon coming to Johor. As usual, went to Woodlands checkpoint, crossed the bridge, then to Malaysia's checkpoint. Got to see the new one. It cheered me up a bit. Took a bus to Larkin (Is that how its spelled?) and then checked out the shops there. My Cousin Ya'kob took us and went to their kampung house. The reason we went there was cause they were moving. The government wanted to us their land and their neighbours' to make a bigger highway and so were given 2 homes in a Malaysian type flat. I did the azan for both the houses. Hehe, felt good. The first day, we just packed everything in the house. We slept there. I had an asthma attack. Luckily, Cousin Ya'kob was also asthmatic and he had one inhaler. I didnt bring mine. I felt bad that I couldnt help much so I just went to bed. The next day, a huge truck parked itself outside. It was gonna bring the furniture to the houses. Well, one of them, that is. Cousin Ya'kob had some of his friends at work to help. Suddenly, the moment came to help. As soon as the will to help came, my breathing cleared and I felt strength surge thoughout my body. I helped carry a lot of things. Ok probably dont seem like much bit its uphill from the house to the truck.
By the end of the day, I was tired but still eager to help. We all had dinner at the kampung house for the last time and then left for the house at Pulai, my Cousin Yanie's house. Its a private bungalow house. It was nice. And soon... zzz
Third and last day. Cousin Yanie, Cousin Ya'kob and I went back to the kampung house to take the huge stuff. The trick came again but this time, the furniture were brought to the house at Pulai. Yesterday, we took the furniture to the flat house. There, I did my last prayers there. My Dhuha prayers. It felt sad parting with the house cause I've been there since I was small. After we arrived at the house at Pulai, the driver asked me to climb up the truck to give the stuff to the people below. I was ecstatic. I got to go on the truck! Hehe... helped and soon, cleaned up. Everyone sat down and Cousin Yanti thanked me for helping... so did the others. It so happens that whenever I helped, I lost me weaknesses. Praise be to Allah. My Mother told me, "A sincere heart is a strong one..." And I left for Singapore liking Malaysia. Haha... what a turn of events!!!

My 15th Gregorian Birthday

Its come then... a 1/4 of my life has passed and what have I to be proud of? Im constantly shadowed by my friends and always left out because... well, people dont like being around. But today, rest assure that I will spend the day with the closest of people... my family.

I asked Mother not to do anything grand for me. Really, it isnt that important. So anyway, it was a Saturday, and my father was working. My two cousins and their two children had gone out and left me at home alone. Mother had gone to the market so she wouldnt be home for a few hours. Sigh... Im all alone, I thought.

Towards the end of the day, my Mother showed me a simple square cake... which she had made herself. Oh, I felt so happy that she cared. But alas, my world is small... and anyway, I had a surprise for the family.

Few hours later...

The clock signalled 8pm. Neither my father nor my cousins were home. I felt as if they didnt want me, I gave a small chuckle to cheer myself up. Suddenly, a calling of 'Assalamualaikum' reverberated throughout the house. Father was home! I hugged him and went back to my original seating place at the sofa. Half an hour passed by and my cousins were still not home. So, my parent decided we just cut the cake and be on with it. My parents sang a malay version of a happy birthday song. You know... "Allah selamatkan kamu"? Yeah, that one. I cut the cake and the three of us ate some pizza. 15 minutes passed before my cousins returned. I was like... great, now you show up. But a smile sufficed which showed my real feelings. We ate together. That night, I slept content.

S3 Mini Bazaar 2009

Sigh...
Sorry for being late and all. I havent been writing because I havent had the opportunity to do so. And so, I will start writing what I should have wrote half a month ago...

I arrived at the school, a bit later than Ziyan. He took the bus today so I guess its fair that he waits for me this time. As we placed our bags at the void deck, along came Luqman Nur. Together, we went to the canteen. There, I brandished my infamous camera and took a few pictures in the morning, just to warm-up. It wasnt until the sun rose until I realized that my 'omph' for taking pictures was gone. Ok... more like, there wasnt the feeling of enthusiasm, the lust for taking pictures. But anyway, I just went on hoping that I'd find that feeling.

So anyway, went downstairs and after the assembly, helped to prepare the booths. I didnt find anything amusing. I didnt know what to do. I wanted to take pictures but I didnt feel like it. I also wanted to take the pictures of other booths but I was a bit shy with all the girls around. Most of the guys were at the X-Box booth, not surprising. So, I simply tried to give a helping hand wherever needed. I helped blow up balloons. Afterwards, Ilyas dragged me upstairs to help decorate Rifqi and Bukhari's face. They were our class mascots. I went up and down, up and down, up and down... It was tiring.

Well after that, Ziyan, Adam, Abdur Rahman Yassin and I walked around the school and checked out the booths. It was ok. I tried my luck on the dart board and scored a bulls-eye! Im serious! It wasnt a fluke... though, only Hanafiah saw me. Bad timing, I guess. We went up and down the school, talked with people, venture around places... fun, it was. So, after hours and hours of fun, along with a few moments of prayer and ibadah, I ended the day with a gratifying smile.

Wassalam...

Oooh... Sorry I only uploaded a photo. Not much, eh?

Soccer Mania

Yesterday, my cousin returned from his voyage from the coasts of Malaysia. Along with his two sons and wife, my cousin went over to my house and that's when the fun started. My cousin and his wife simply talked with my mother. Meanwhile, my two nephews, along with the two extra ones went outside to play badminton. Unfortunately, two of my nephews didnt know how to play so we went back home and took a ball instead. When we did get back home, it started to rain. The sound of thunder churned the sky into a dark swirl of menacing clouds. Fearful of lightning, my four nephews and I sat down at the arm-bend outside of my house. After the pouring eased, we got back to the void deck. An old man told us we couldnt play there so we went to the playground behind my house instead. We played 'Poison Ball' and had a blast. We played for about an hour an a half before going back home to rest at the arm-bend again, Did our Zuhr prayers and went to the field this time to play soccer. I had a great time running around. After an hour, went back home to have a drink and perform our Asar prayers. Went out again. This time, my other cousin went with us. He's aboout 25+ so its no wonder his team had the other hand. They scored 4-0 until an opportunity arose and one of my nephews passed a ball in my direction and I shot a thunder bolt whirling through the air straight to my cousin. Score! My two nephews on my team were umm... not much a help. One was too young and the other, occassionally hurt. I tried my best being keeper and at the same time, an attacker. We played till dusk. It ended with the score 14-6... to my cousin. Did our Maghrib prayers and then ate KFC. Played ball for pretty much the whole day...
Wassalam...

Lazing Around

First of all, met up with Luqman Nur and Ziyan Emir. Went up to the canteen as soon as we arrived. Talked, read my book and did some other stuff. Assembly. Classes. The whole of Secondary 3 were told to go to Multi-Purpose Room 3 where we met Ustd Azhari and our Nahu papers. Got a disappointing 39%. Almost everyone got around that average. Then recess. Did my Dhuha prayers with Abdul Rahman Abd Aziz and Zulfaqar, as usual. Then classes. I got to go through my Mustolah Hadith exam paper. I did extremely well. Well, in my standards, its very good. I got a satisfying 89.5%, and boy was I elated. Afterwards, the Pure Science students went to Multi-Purpose 3 to check our Chemistry paper. A bit happy and relieved to be able to escape the pandemonium of the class. Overall, I got a pleasing 80% for my paper. Unfortunately, as always, Im always one of the bottom of the class. Sigh... At least I didnt fail, right?
Came back to class only to see our Fiqh and Faraidh papers returned to Ustd Mahzan. I got to see my marks though. For Fiqh, I got 85% and for Faraidh, a saddening 76.5%. Ok, I know its a good mark but I wanted to do excellently on that paper cause I wanted to make Ustd Mahzan proud. I didnt want to let him down. But alas, my marks proved my work.
Got my Maths paper next. It was a blow to my head when I got it. Overall, a humiliating 53% from what should've been at least 70%. I dreamt too much but I did try. But just the pressure of doing a paper set by Mr Rahmat makes me nervous. Next term then. Second to last, I got my Tauhid papers. I got a very pleasing 95% and even Ustzh Rabiah commented on my good marks. I was so happy.
At the mosque, we had Ustd Ahmad Dahriy (Is that spelled correctly?) doing the Friday sermon. He's the guy who gives the sermon after Subuh prayers. My mother and I always listen to it, clinging to every word. Well, we had to wait 2 hours to get our Additional Maths paper cause Mr Rahmat had meetings and stuff. I played 'Duel Masters' and watched 'Step Up 2: The Streets' in class, along with Helmi, Haziq, Luqman Hakim, Abdul Rahman Abd Aziz and Farid to accompany me in Secondary 3 Andalusia. The girls took over Secondary 3 Bukhara. Had a fun time waiting. I cleaned the class and arranged the tables neatly too, which gave me the pleasing feeling of satisfaction. When we did get my papers, I was like... "Here it goes...". Well you know what? I got a Christiano Ronaldo on my paper. It was over 80. Find Ronaldo's jersey number and you'll get the number of my marks. Sad, ain't it? Lowest... sigh, thinking of quitting but Mr Rahmat wouldnt let me, says Hafizuddeen. So... prolonging the torment? Haha, just kidding. Mr Rahmat is a great teacher. Just that he's too fast for my type. I guess Im just not meant to be with the 'smarts'...
Wassalam...

Fleeting Moments

My feelings have gone up and down today. Lotsa stuff happened. Lotsa drama. Lotsa stuff to write down. I'll start off from the beginning, shall I?
Ok, first... umm, was it morning? Well, nothing much happened. My friends and I sat at the void deck and just talked till a bell ring signalled assembly time. Afterwards, I went to class and went through my Tafsir and Hadith exam papers, along with our (my class) results from our Al-Quran oral. I got highest! Alhamdulillah... First up of the day. Then, we played and talked and had fun with Ustd Ruzi around. Well, it was harmless. Just played 'UNO' and occassionally read a book or just talked.
During what should have been Chemistry class, Mr Muneer was going through with Group B's Chemistry exam papers. So, Muhammad and I went to the 7th storey and asked for Mdm Surianah to go through our Physics exam paper. She arrived about half an hour later cause she had a class with Sec4 Bukhara. A huge downturn for me. As soon as I got my Physics exam paper, my jaw literally dropped. I... well, to put it nicely, didnt meet the passing point. Just 2 and a half more. Sigh... most of the class got 50%-60% average. Even Hafizuddeen got 55% and Luqman Hakim 61%. Soon afterwards, the air was full of tension. I got the usual quote:"Failure now but succees later". Sigh... Lunch after that and then had Lughah classes. I was so happy to see Ustd Salehin. He's one of my favourite teachers. Anyway, got... hmm... oh yeah, 76%. Its ok. Ustd Salehin asked me to collect and arrange the papers. Too happy to oblige.
We also discussed our shifts for Sec3 Andalus' Games stall for next week. Im gonna be at the 'Bottle-cap Frenzy' with none other than Luqman Nur and later at the 'Bulls-eye Pop' with trusty Abdul Rahman Abd Aziz. Got out a bit of my "leader" feeling. Played some more 'UNO'. Had a blast while Kak Fatimah relieved for our class, considering she was once one of us. Irsyadian, I mean. Nearing the end of the day, I read the book I brought 'The Empire of Darkness' outside. Seeing that my class was so noisy having fun inside, I succumbed to the peace outside. The cool breeze. The silence surrounding me. The world passing by me. The book was so awesome. Its about Egypt, by the way. Thinking of entering the Science Centre 'Buckers Competition'. I'll think about it, maybe ask Mr Roslan about it. I'll think about it...
Stayed behind at school to do my Asar prayers. Whilst alone at the mosque, I saw the "smart girls" group walk past by. Smiled at Aisyah Said, who saw me at the time. Got to smile at Nur and Aishah-tul Firdaus too. No bad intention or anything. I dunno why... being in an all-boy class, that when I see a girl, its like I've met them for the first time. Weird. Also lent some money to friends. Salaam-ed some others. At home, danced to the beat of 'Step Up 2'. Later, heard the call of Allah s.w.t and answered it and prayed. And later, remembered the reality of the world, hoping that one day... this one insignificant individual could change it for the better...
Wassalam...