Sigh..
Things are really piling up on me this year, arent they?
I got to become chairperson for S4A, chairperson for S4C and now.. Im selected to be a student leader. Well, I guess its not much compared to Aminah who has been chairperson for 4 years straight.. but I guess its better than nothing.
However, I feel more emotionally distraught than ever. How I wish the other things in life that I really cared for would come true. I.. I.. I feel like giving up all over again.
Shucks... My body just became weak and my heart is aching, my spirit shaken and my will breaking..
I just feel like shouting so much. Aaarrggghh! I need to talk to this beloved friend of mine right now and pour out my heart's content.. in the hope that I will regain some stability.
Wassalam..
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Happy Feet
Today was quite a terrific day!
I was quite enthusiastic in class since we did have some free periods so I pretty much enjoyed it. I was in a malay poetic mood so Ilyas, Taufiq and I conversed using poems. I was rolling with laughter after every poem. Yeah, I guess there's a first for everything.
After school, I danced in the lift lobby beside the canteen. Ali Imran and Luqman Hakim sat there too and watched me. Adam S5 and Abdul Rahman Rahim laughed from afar. Ali quoted that I had "happy feet" ... Haha, thats cute!
Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today. Oh, and I completed homework at home.. hehe, I feel so good now :)
Wassalam..
I was quite enthusiastic in class since we did have some free periods so I pretty much enjoyed it. I was in a malay poetic mood so Ilyas, Taufiq and I conversed using poems. I was rolling with laughter after every poem. Yeah, I guess there's a first for everything.
After school, I danced in the lift lobby beside the canteen. Ali Imran and Luqman Hakim sat there too and watched me. Adam S5 and Abdul Rahman Rahim laughed from afar. Ali quoted that I had "happy feet" ... Haha, thats cute!
Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today. Oh, and I completed homework at home.. hehe, I feel so good now :)
Wassalam..
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Dental
Things seem a bit better today.. I guess thats quite true.
I woke up at 7 in the morning today cause I got a dental appointment. Without haste, I got ready and left the house.
Supposedly, I was due to meet Farid and Fahmi at Outram Park at 9am. However, because they werent familiar with the place, we exited at different places and it took some time for me to find them. By then, my appointment was about to start.
My check-up took longer than the 2 of them. It lasted an agonising 2 hours, with it the constant opening of my mouth and the incessant drilling and poking of my teeth. Man, I found it quite nauseating after the first hour. I developed a headache afterwards.. Sheesh, talk about the wrong time to receive one.
The 3 of us went to school together. I had quite a good time in the train, listening to songs and dancing. Farid and Fahmi would join me too, but not as expressive. It was awesome.
We arrived at school at about 12:30am.. Quite something, eh?
Well umm.. my class seems to have gotten the message. Keep quiet. Err.. Ilyas was absent so I guess the class wasnt that noisy.
After school, I had badminton training. Im very sorry to Luqman Hakim, who got his badminton racket broken. How it got broken is quite weird though...
Luqman Nur and I were playing together. I was using someone's racket and Luqman Nur was using Luqman Hakim's racket. One time, Luqman and I were chasing for the shuttlecock which was in mid-air. I got there first but Luqman Nur has already swung his racket and it hit my arm. Funny thing was, my arm didnt get hurt but the racket broke in two. My first reaction was... "How in the world did it break???"
I felt a bit guilty so I kept my low. I started getting tense afterwards, constantly hitting the net. When training ended, I went home with Luqman Nur. I bought a cake for my mom cause its her birthday today *woohoo!*
Oh, and my mom says thanks to Farid, Luqman Nur and Aminah who wished her a happy birthday.. hehe, thanks.
Wassalam..
I woke up at 7 in the morning today cause I got a dental appointment. Without haste, I got ready and left the house.
Supposedly, I was due to meet Farid and Fahmi at Outram Park at 9am. However, because they werent familiar with the place, we exited at different places and it took some time for me to find them. By then, my appointment was about to start.
My check-up took longer than the 2 of them. It lasted an agonising 2 hours, with it the constant opening of my mouth and the incessant drilling and poking of my teeth. Man, I found it quite nauseating after the first hour. I developed a headache afterwards.. Sheesh, talk about the wrong time to receive one.
The 3 of us went to school together. I had quite a good time in the train, listening to songs and dancing. Farid and Fahmi would join me too, but not as expressive. It was awesome.
We arrived at school at about 12:30am.. Quite something, eh?
Well umm.. my class seems to have gotten the message. Keep quiet. Err.. Ilyas was absent so I guess the class wasnt that noisy.
After school, I had badminton training. Im very sorry to Luqman Hakim, who got his badminton racket broken. How it got broken is quite weird though...
Luqman Nur and I were playing together. I was using someone's racket and Luqman Nur was using Luqman Hakim's racket. One time, Luqman and I were chasing for the shuttlecock which was in mid-air. I got there first but Luqman Nur has already swung his racket and it hit my arm. Funny thing was, my arm didnt get hurt but the racket broke in two. My first reaction was... "How in the world did it break???"
I felt a bit guilty so I kept my low. I started getting tense afterwards, constantly hitting the net. When training ended, I went home with Luqman Nur. I bought a cake for my mom cause its her birthday today *woohoo!*
Oh, and my mom says thanks to Farid, Luqman Nur and Aminah who wished her a happy birthday.. hehe, thanks.
Wassalam..
Monday, April 19, 2010
Crying Helps
Oh God, I think my will and spirit just collapsed today. I couldnt bear the pain, the heartache, the sorrow.. I even felt like quitting school. The emphasis goes to the word "like" ...
Well, it started out like this..
As usual, I arrived at the mosque early. I did my sunnah prayers and sat down, waiting for Danish and the others. In time, Abdul Rahman Aziz, Ali, Luqman Hakim and Danish came and accompanied me. I was busy doing my work, giving up after 15 minutes. At that time, I was doing my physics work. I moaned and protested about how hard maths and science was becoming. Luqman Hakim told me that switching back to combined science was an option.. a suggestion which I took for a complete insult. I took my bag and left.
After the assembly and all, I reached to my class, still having Luqman's sayings in my head. I shook them off and got ready for lessons. Some few minutes later, Shaakira and Aza stood next to the door, asking me to pass a gift to Danish. Great.. Somehow, I had a thought that they wanted to meet me but nevermind. The next 3 and a half hours which followed were filled with outrageous bursts of laughter and uncontrollable giggling. Sitting with my group is always entertaining and today, they proved to entertain me again.
However, chemistry lessons insued, at which the numbers and equations boggled my mind. Things got worse when Mr Muneer showed us our exam timetables. To my displeasure, the academic subjects were the first to be taken. Not to mention, on one of the days, there were 3 exams. Geography, physics and chemistry. I was lost for words..
Recess proved to be a slight breather for me. The reality of it all was this. Exams are coming and I gotta start revising now. Man, it was a slap in the face. I got back upstairs with plenty of time to spare. Whilst waiting for recess to end, I talked with Bukhari. Suddenly, he went off, probably minding some other guy. I was kinda sad and I dont know why but I punched the wall ... in a hilarious way, of course. But then, the stress of everything seemed to pile on me right at that single moment and I cried. Right then and there, in the corridor, I cried. Immediately, Farid and Adam went to my aid. They tried to comfort me, asked me what was wrong. I dont know, I just kept on crying. Since recess was over anyway, I got back to class..
Malay lessons were on. The malay oral was still taking place so we had free period. During this time, Muzzamil was in our class cause he had to write a letter of some sort for Cikgu Zulkifli. So anyway, I was completing my letter assignment when the back group of guys started making noise. Even the girls were getting noisier. Somehow, I tried to hold back but Liyana kept on telling me to tell them to keep quiet. Then suddenly, the noise level got to such an extent, I raised my voice and the whole class went on mute. I felt quite guilty afterwards cause I mentioned Danish's name which came out unintentionally.
Before Zuhr prayers, I apologised to Danish who wouldnt even look at me. I felt even more hurt.. After prayers, I apologised to Danish again in class and he explained that he wasnt really mad at me. I still felt guilty and deep down inside, I felt foolish. I ran to the toilet and cried even more.. Cried and cried till I couldnt cry. I went back to class and spent an hour in Ustd Salehin's arabic class. At the end of the lesson, he noticed that I looked miserable. I faked a smile and walked away..
So at the end of the day, I spent my afternoon in the lift lobby beside the canteen, studying chemistry. Oh... how I wish I had more time to do everything. All I want now is to have 7 days of rest in school.. and to talk with that special someone. Talk to me, will you? Cause your voice enlightens me..
Wassalam..
Well, it started out like this..
As usual, I arrived at the mosque early. I did my sunnah prayers and sat down, waiting for Danish and the others. In time, Abdul Rahman Aziz, Ali, Luqman Hakim and Danish came and accompanied me. I was busy doing my work, giving up after 15 minutes. At that time, I was doing my physics work. I moaned and protested about how hard maths and science was becoming. Luqman Hakim told me that switching back to combined science was an option.. a suggestion which I took for a complete insult. I took my bag and left.
After the assembly and all, I reached to my class, still having Luqman's sayings in my head. I shook them off and got ready for lessons. Some few minutes later, Shaakira and Aza stood next to the door, asking me to pass a gift to Danish. Great.. Somehow, I had a thought that they wanted to meet me but nevermind. The next 3 and a half hours which followed were filled with outrageous bursts of laughter and uncontrollable giggling. Sitting with my group is always entertaining and today, they proved to entertain me again.
However, chemistry lessons insued, at which the numbers and equations boggled my mind. Things got worse when Mr Muneer showed us our exam timetables. To my displeasure, the academic subjects were the first to be taken. Not to mention, on one of the days, there were 3 exams. Geography, physics and chemistry. I was lost for words..
Recess proved to be a slight breather for me. The reality of it all was this. Exams are coming and I gotta start revising now. Man, it was a slap in the face. I got back upstairs with plenty of time to spare. Whilst waiting for recess to end, I talked with Bukhari. Suddenly, he went off, probably minding some other guy. I was kinda sad and I dont know why but I punched the wall ... in a hilarious way, of course. But then, the stress of everything seemed to pile on me right at that single moment and I cried. Right then and there, in the corridor, I cried. Immediately, Farid and Adam went to my aid. They tried to comfort me, asked me what was wrong. I dont know, I just kept on crying. Since recess was over anyway, I got back to class..
Malay lessons were on. The malay oral was still taking place so we had free period. During this time, Muzzamil was in our class cause he had to write a letter of some sort for Cikgu Zulkifli. So anyway, I was completing my letter assignment when the back group of guys started making noise. Even the girls were getting noisier. Somehow, I tried to hold back but Liyana kept on telling me to tell them to keep quiet. Then suddenly, the noise level got to such an extent, I raised my voice and the whole class went on mute. I felt quite guilty afterwards cause I mentioned Danish's name which came out unintentionally.
Before Zuhr prayers, I apologised to Danish who wouldnt even look at me. I felt even more hurt.. After prayers, I apologised to Danish again in class and he explained that he wasnt really mad at me. I still felt guilty and deep down inside, I felt foolish. I ran to the toilet and cried even more.. Cried and cried till I couldnt cry. I went back to class and spent an hour in Ustd Salehin's arabic class. At the end of the lesson, he noticed that I looked miserable. I faked a smile and walked away..
So at the end of the day, I spent my afternoon in the lift lobby beside the canteen, studying chemistry. Oh... how I wish I had more time to do everything. All I want now is to have 7 days of rest in school.. and to talk with that special someone. Talk to me, will you? Cause your voice enlightens me..
Wassalam..
Saturday, April 17, 2010
The Last PT Outing
Moods can easily change in the blink of a second.. And thats what happened today.
I overslept and woke at exactly 8am. I got ready, bade my mom goodbye and left the house. First I met up with Bukhari at Braddell and we waveboarded to school. Yeah, he has one too. We met up with the other guys just in time for the briefing for the Peer Tutor outing.
I couldnt help cause I had already been to the recce at ECP with the Exco members so I guess it'd be unfair if I played. I declined 2 offers from 2 different teams. I guess one person wasnt happy that I couldnt play and started calling me names.. Out of nowhere, the urge to shout was so unbearable. At that moment, all happy feelings faded and I felt moody..
I sat next to Bukhari in the bus. Hehe, we looked quite cute together and I wish someone could've taken a photo of us for a silhouette picture. It would look really good. To pass the time, I sms-ed Zubaidah to see how she was doing. Hehe, pretty good, I guess..
We arrived at about 10:40am. The Exco members were still doing some last-minute plans about the games and such. I felt sorry for them, in a way. Mr Izzad lent me his camera and so I helped take pictures.
The race started off terribly. Everyone ran off with the bikes, even though the signal to go hadnt been given. I helped Farid carry the balls and frisbees to his station. We were struggling to reach our station. I bet even the other Exco members did. Anyway, I helped set up the game and stayed for the 1st game. After accompanying Farid for 15min, I asked politely if I could leave. I felt kinda guilty leaving him alone so I promised that I would come back.
And so, I took my bike and cycled to all the stations.. all of them. I was a bit exhausted but since I had nothing else to do but take photos, I just carried on checking every station. Met up with Abdul Aziz. I was glad that he came cause this IS the last outing for my batch of Peer Tutors.
I came back to Farid's area and after more groups arrived, I returned to the meeting area in front of Burger King. While waiting for them, I made a sandcastle with a moat and wall to protect against the sea. It was quite strong. And thanks to Hadi for helping me. Then, we did our Zuhr prayers and when everyone was together, we started the prize giving ceremony.
I took Bus No. 13 with Abdul Aziz, Bukhari, Ali Imran, Abdul Rahman Aziz and Umar. It was quite a long journey and I got some well-needed rest. When we arrived at school, we performed out 'Asr prayers at Muhajirin Mosque and then just rested in the prayer hall and talked. Relaxing, it was ...
So, I went home with Abdul Aziz, accompanying him and then separating as we walked different routes. Went back home and watched 'Wall-E' on Disney Channel.
Lastly, I got a very heart-warming conversation with a good friend and I hope that person gets better. Im worried for you ... cheer up, alright? Things'll get better, Insya Allah..
Wassalam..
I overslept and woke at exactly 8am. I got ready, bade my mom goodbye and left the house. First I met up with Bukhari at Braddell and we waveboarded to school. Yeah, he has one too. We met up with the other guys just in time for the briefing for the Peer Tutor outing.
I couldnt help cause I had already been to the recce at ECP with the Exco members so I guess it'd be unfair if I played. I declined 2 offers from 2 different teams. I guess one person wasnt happy that I couldnt play and started calling me names.. Out of nowhere, the urge to shout was so unbearable. At that moment, all happy feelings faded and I felt moody..
I sat next to Bukhari in the bus. Hehe, we looked quite cute together and I wish someone could've taken a photo of us for a silhouette picture. It would look really good. To pass the time, I sms-ed Zubaidah to see how she was doing. Hehe, pretty good, I guess..
We arrived at about 10:40am. The Exco members were still doing some last-minute plans about the games and such. I felt sorry for them, in a way. Mr Izzad lent me his camera and so I helped take pictures.
The race started off terribly. Everyone ran off with the bikes, even though the signal to go hadnt been given. I helped Farid carry the balls and frisbees to his station. We were struggling to reach our station. I bet even the other Exco members did. Anyway, I helped set up the game and stayed for the 1st game. After accompanying Farid for 15min, I asked politely if I could leave. I felt kinda guilty leaving him alone so I promised that I would come back.
And so, I took my bike and cycled to all the stations.. all of them. I was a bit exhausted but since I had nothing else to do but take photos, I just carried on checking every station. Met up with Abdul Aziz. I was glad that he came cause this IS the last outing for my batch of Peer Tutors.
I came back to Farid's area and after more groups arrived, I returned to the meeting area in front of Burger King. While waiting for them, I made a sandcastle with a moat and wall to protect against the sea. It was quite strong. And thanks to Hadi for helping me. Then, we did our Zuhr prayers and when everyone was together, we started the prize giving ceremony.
I took Bus No. 13 with Abdul Aziz, Bukhari, Ali Imran, Abdul Rahman Aziz and Umar. It was quite a long journey and I got some well-needed rest. When we arrived at school, we performed out 'Asr prayers at Muhajirin Mosque and then just rested in the prayer hall and talked. Relaxing, it was ...
So, I went home with Abdul Aziz, accompanying him and then separating as we walked different routes. Went back home and watched 'Wall-E' on Disney Channel.
Lastly, I got a very heart-warming conversation with a good friend and I hope that person gets better. Im worried for you ... cheer up, alright? Things'll get better, Insya Allah..
Wassalam..
Friday, April 16, 2010
Coughing
Im so tired right now.. And yes, I am still quite sick. I have a bad sore throat and my voice just went down a notch.. But nevermind.
I had a rousing good day today, though Muhammad said I looked burdened. Undoubtedly, I am.
But anyway, things distracted me from thinking about those problems.
Lessons were, on the contrary, very interesting. I especially enjoyed when Ustd Salehin showed us a Qasidah about the Prophet S.A.W.
After school, I stayed back for the Fiqh extra class. One time, I coughed so hard I nearly vomitted the pleghm in my throat.. And it tasted horribly disgusting. Bukhari and Farid massaged my back to ease the pain. Wow.. major throat pain.
So yawn.. I guess imma be signing off now..
Wassalam..
I had a rousing good day today, though Muhammad said I looked burdened. Undoubtedly, I am.
But anyway, things distracted me from thinking about those problems.
Lessons were, on the contrary, very interesting. I especially enjoyed when Ustd Salehin showed us a Qasidah about the Prophet S.A.W.
After school, I stayed back for the Fiqh extra class. One time, I coughed so hard I nearly vomitted the pleghm in my throat.. And it tasted horribly disgusting. Bukhari and Farid massaged my back to ease the pain. Wow.. major throat pain.
So yawn.. I guess imma be signing off now..
Wassalam..
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Adapting
Eheh.. I should really stop laughing in class so much. The problem is, I sit with Ilyas and Muhammad... and they're not exactly the quiet ones. So umm... academically, I aint actually at the ideal spot. My group is more of the laid-back, sarcastic and random groups. But nevermind.. 1% genius, 99% perspiration.
Well now.. I can safely say that things in my class are getting a BIT better. The class is a somewhat cleaner.. lessons dont seem so bad.. In fact, things went fairly smooth today. I asked to do my oral today with Mdm Baizah, even though my throat was a bit sore. It was okay..
The other lessons were quite good too but no elaboration.
After school, it rained quite heavily. Thunder and lightning accompanied the downpour. Oh, and I planned on giving Shazaa my red origami flower but she went home so I ended up giving it to AishahTul, who by the way, is back in school! She's been sick for the past 3 days and Im glad she's back.. Good to know that my friends are mostly alright..
Lemme see.. I stayed at school to wait out the rain. Went home with Bukhari and Farid. Hmm.. main priorities for now... STE preparations and arts & crafts. Plus taking pictures of everyone, especially my beloved seniors who are gonna graduate this year... Gee, I really wish I had DSLR camera. Im not being picky or anything, just that it'd be great ot have one so that I can share good quality pictures with everyone. Insya Allah, maybe one day..
Wassalam..
Well now.. I can safely say that things in my class are getting a BIT better. The class is a somewhat cleaner.. lessons dont seem so bad.. In fact, things went fairly smooth today. I asked to do my oral today with Mdm Baizah, even though my throat was a bit sore. It was okay..
The other lessons were quite good too but no elaboration.
After school, it rained quite heavily. Thunder and lightning accompanied the downpour. Oh, and I planned on giving Shazaa my red origami flower but she went home so I ended up giving it to AishahTul, who by the way, is back in school! She's been sick for the past 3 days and Im glad she's back.. Good to know that my friends are mostly alright..
Lemme see.. I stayed at school to wait out the rain. Went home with Bukhari and Farid. Hmm.. main priorities for now... STE preparations and arts & crafts. Plus taking pictures of everyone, especially my beloved seniors who are gonna graduate this year... Gee, I really wish I had DSLR camera. Im not being picky or anything, just that it'd be great ot have one so that I can share good quality pictures with everyone. Insya Allah, maybe one day..
Wassalam..
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